Fuselage

Fuselage pronounced fyoo-suh-lahzh, fyoo-suh-lij, fyoo-zuh-lahzh or fyoo-suh-lahzh)

(1) In aeronautical design, the complete central structure of an airplane, to which are attached the wings (or rotors), tail and other stabilizing fins or surfaces (engines sometimes also directly attached or enclosed).  It is inside the fuselage where the crew, passengers, cargo and most internals systems are located.

(2) In design, a style which borrows from or alludes to the elements used in aircraft fuselages.

(3) By extension, the main body of an aerospace vehicle

1909 (In English): From the French fuselage, the construct being fusel(é) (spindle-shaped), from fuseler (to shape like a spindle), from the Old French fus or fuseau (spindle), from the Latin fusus (spindle) + -age.  The French suffix -age was from the Middle & Old French -age, from the Latin -āticum, (greatly) extended from words like rivage and voyage.  It was used usually to form nouns with the sense of (1) "action or result of Xing" or (more rarely), "action related to X" or (2) "state of being (a or an) X".  A less common use was the formation of collective nouns.  Historically, there were many applications (family relationships, locations et al) but use has long tended to be restricted to the sense of "action of Xing".  Many older terms now have little to no connection with their most common modern uses, something particularly notable of those descended from actual Latin words (fromage, voyage et al).  In English, the suffix -age was from the Middle English -age, from the Old French -age, from the Latin -āticum.  Cognates include the French -age, the Italian -aggio, the Portuguese -agem, the Spanish -aje & Romanian -aj.  It was used to form nouns (1) with the sense of collection or appurtenance, (2) indicating a process, action, or a result, (3) of a state or relationship, (4) indicating a place, (5) indicating a charge, toll, or fee, (6) indicating a rate & (7) of a unit of measure.  Fuselage is a noun & adjective; the noun plural is fuselages.

Many languages also borrowed fuselage but there were sometimes variations in spelling including in Catalan (fuselatge), Portuguese (fuselagem), Spanish (fuselaje), Russian (fjuzeljáž (фюзеля́ж)), Kazakh (füzeläj (фюзеляж)) and Ukrainian (fjuzeljáž (фюзеля́ж)).  It’s not clear when “fuselage” was first used in English, the earliest known reference dating from 1909 but it’s not improbable the word had earlier been in oral use.  The alternative was presumably “hull” (the body or frame of shop, boat or other such vessel).  Hull was from the Middle English hul, hulle & holle (seed covering, hull of a ship), from the Old English hulu (seed covering), from the Proto-Germanic hul- (and related to the Dutch hul (hood) and the German Hülle & Hülse (cover, veil)), and may have been from either the primitive Indo-European forms ḱel- (to cover, hide) or kal- (hard).  Hull came into wide use in aircraft design when “flying boats” were developed.

Flying boats: Short S.25 Sunderland (1938-1946) (left) and Dornier Do X (1929-1932) (right). 

Most aeroplanes have fuselages; flying boats have hulls, a tribute to the nautical part of their hybrid origin.  Commercially, flying boats were widely used during the inter-war years because of their range and, needing only a suitable body of water (sea, lake, river), their ability to operate in regions without suitable aerodromes.  A vital military machine during World War II (1939-1945), the advances in aircraft design during that conflict, coupled with the proliferation of airstrip construction able to be re-purposed for civil use doomed them for all but some specialist uses.  Quickly they almost vanished from European and (most) North American skies and waterways, enduring in the Far East only until infrastructure there too was improved.

The fuselage can be optional: Dunne D.5 (1908) (left), Northrop YB-49 prototype (1947) (centre) and Northrop Grumman B-2 Spirit (1989) (right).

In the early days of aviation, before even an airplane had flown the English Channel, designers had been intrigued when their slide-rule calculations suggested the optimal shape of a flying machine was a "flying wing" with no conventional fuselage and certainly no tail-plane apparatus.  Tests of scale models in primitive wind tunnels proved the math was substantially correct and proof of concept tests using an unpowered glider proved inconclusive, it being clear only a powered flight would demonstrate if such a design could achieve stable flight.  When tested, the designer admitted an early, under-powered, version was "more a hopper than a flyer" but when fitted with more powerful engines, the "flying wings" proved remarkably stable.  However, more conventional designs proved more suitable for military use and that, increasingly was where the source of funding was to be found.  Despite that, the idea continued to fascinate designers and a flying wing was one of the extraordinary range of experimental aircraft under development in Nazi Germany during World War II, most of which never made any contribution to the Luftwaffe's war effort.  In the US, Northrop built both propeller and jet-powered prototypes in the 1940s and after early difficulties, a stable platform emerged although, like most designs, it both offered advantages and imposed restrictions but the whole project was cancelled; ever since some have argued this was due to political influence while others claim the flaws in the concept were so fundamental they couldn't be fixed.  The Northrop Grumman B-2 Spirit (in service with the US Air Force (USAF) until at least 2034) is a modified version of a flying wing in that its really a variation of a delta with an integrated fuselage.

Ascending the stairs: Lindsay Lohan entering a fuselage, Mykonos, Greece, August 2016.

In the early days of aviation during the twentieth century’s first decade, French engineers and inventors were the most innovative on the planet and this is reflected in the world-wide adoption of many French terms for some of the bits and pieces which continue to be used.  English, rarely inclined to create a new word if there was a manageable one in some other language which could be absorbed (“borrowed” still the term etymologists, strangely perhaps, prefer) and the French words which formed the basis of the early lexicon of aviation are a particular example of technological determinism in language.  Other orthodox terms in aviation include:

Aileron: A hinged flight-control surface usually attached to the trailing edge of each wing and used to change the roll (ie cause fuselage to begin rotation).  Although the word “flaps” is commonly used of ailerons, the flaps are usually positioned closer to the fuselage and are used to increase or reduce lift & drag.  The flap-like devices mounted on the trailing edges of the vertical stabilizers (somewhere in the tail-section) are properly called “elevators”.  Aileron was a diminutive of aile (wing) and before powered flight (flying machines) had been used in ornithology to refer to the extremities of a bird's wings used to control their flight.  There is an entry in a French-English dictionary dating from 1877 (with the lead meaning: “small wing”) and in the context of the language of aviation, the earliest known use in entry in French technical literature is from 1908.

Empennage: The tail assembly of an aircraft, including the horizontal and vertical stabilizers, elevators, and rudder. Empennage was from the French empenner (to feather an arrow).

Chassis: This was the original term used in English to describe the framework of an aircraft but soon was replaced by "frame, structure etc"), presumably because of the association with the heavy steel constructions used in cars and trucks, things far removed from the lightweight designs needed in the air.  Chassis was from the French chassis (frame, supporting structure), from châsse (reliquary; coffin), from the Latin capsa (case).

Concours d'Elegance: Not strictly an aviation term and most associated with affairs like those in Pebble Beach where rows of vintage Bentleys, Ferraris and such (the latter always in a much better state of finish than when they left the factory) are judged for their closeness to perfection.  Although not strictly a term from aviation, there are such events for old aircraft.  Concours d'Elegance was from the French concours d'élégance (competition of elegance).

Pilot: Pilot was from the Middle French pilot & pillot, from the Italian pilota & piloto, (pedotta, pedot & pedotto the older forms), the pil- element probably influenced by pileggiare (to sail, navigate), ultimately from the unattested Byzantine Greek *πηδώτης (pēdṓtēs) (helmsman), from the Ancient Greek πηδόν (pēdón) (blade of an oar, oar) (the the Ancient and Modern Greek πηδάλιον (pēdálion) (rudder).  Familiar from nautical use, pilot was a straight borrowing for the person fulfilling the same function in the air.  The construct of pilotage was pilot + -age.

Canard: A type of aircraft configuration where the tail-plane is ahead of the main lifting surfaces.  In aviation, a canard is either (1) a type of aircraft in which the primary horizontal control and stabilization surfaces are in front of the main wing or (2) a horizontal control and stabilization surface located in front of the main wing of an aircraft (a fore-plane).  In just about any form of engineering involving movement and fluid dynamics (air, plasma, water etc), a canard is a small, wing-like structure used usually as a stabilizing device.  Canard was from the French canard (duck, hoax) and in English as “a canard”, is still used in that sense to mean “a false or misleading report or story, especially if deliberately so”.

The Fuselage Chryslers, 1968-1973

1969 Imperial LeBaron, four-door hardtop.

The “fuselage” Chryslers were released late in 1968 for the 1969 model year and, as a class, remain the largest regular production cars ever made by the US industry.  In the catalogue between 1968-1973, by the end of their run the Imperial was built on a 127 inch (3226 mm) wheelbase, was 235 ½ (5981 mm) inches in length and almost 80 (2022 mm) inches in width.  Big cars from Detroit were not uncommon in the 1960s (Buick in 1959 even naming their top-of-the-range model the Electra 225, a tribute to its 225 inch (5715 mm) length) but even by those standards the fuselage cars not only were vast but the bulbous shape (source of the “fuselage” tag) made them appear more excessive still; it wasn’t only for the big Chryslers the derisive “land yacht” was coined but the line exemplified the idea.  In fairness, the trend generally was “longer, heavier & fatter”, even once compact (by US standards) and agile machines like Ford’s Mustang and Thunderbird bloating with each update although the manufacturers were aware there was considerable public demand for something smaller and by the late 1960s, those in the pipelines were well-advanced.  However, demand for the full-sized cars remained strong and Chrysler decided their lines should be more full-sized than ever, thus the fuselage design.  There was at the time a bit of an aeronautical influence about and that was nothing new, jet aircraft and space rockets during the previous two decades having contributed many of the motifs which appeared on US cars.  During the development cycle for the fuselage cars, Chrysler were well-acquainted with the appearance of the Boeing 747, sketches circulating for some three years before its first public appearance in September 1968, coincidently just days after the Chrysler’s debuted.  In its appearance, the bulging 747 was the same sort of departure from the earlier, slender 707 as the 1969 Chryslers were from their rectilinear predecessors.

1969 Chrysler 300 advertising.  In graphics & text, the "fuselage" motif was integral to the promotion; it was no mere nickname. 

In some ways the styling has aged surprisingly well because the basic lines are uncluttered and, particularly on the higher priced editions, there was some nice detailing but at the time, critics found the look peculiar and a deviance from the direction other manufacturers were travelling.  The sides were unusually deep and rounded (recalling, obviously, an airplane’s fuselage) with a beltline so high the glasshouse (the cabin area defined by the windows) was relatively shallow, something accentuated by the surrounding bulk.  The corporation’s full-sized platform (internally the “C-Body”), it was shared by the Plymouth, Dodge, Chrysler and Imperial lines, the latter a surprise to some because since 1955 when it had been established as a separate division, the Imperial had been built on a unique platform.  However, despite some encouraging results in the 1950s, Imperial never achieved the volume which would have justified another unique platform so the line was merged into mainstream development.

1969 Imperial LeBaron advertising.  The "messaging" in this advertisement remains obscure.

The debut season saw good sales for the fuselage cars (though still more than 10% down on the previous C-Body (1965-1968)) but demand dropped precipitously in the next three years although sales were in buoyant in 1973 when many manufacturers set records; it was the last good year for the “old” American economy and the swansong of the long post-war boom built on cheap, limitless energy and the uniquely advantageous position the country enjoyed after the war; something squandered by the mistakes of more than one administration.  It was certainly unfortunate timing for Chrysler that the first oil crisis should hit just weeks after they had replaced the fuselage cars with something mechanically similar but with clever styling tricks (even the engineers admitted it was “nips & tucks; smoke & mirrors”), something dimensionally similar appeared both smaller and more modern.  Underneath, as the fuselage line had been, was essentially a good product, Chrysler’s basic engineering always good and while the big machines would never behave like a Lotus Elan, on the road they were competent and in most aspects as good as or better than the competition.

The last of Harry S Truman's (1884–1972; US president 1945-1953) many cars was a 1972 Chrysler Newport, the entry-level model in Chrysler's Fuselage range (some Plymouth & Dodge models were cheaper still).  Purchased some six months before his death, the licence plate (5745) was a special request, a reference to 7 May, 1945 (VE Day (Victory in Europe).  Truman was in office on that day and the plate has since permanently been retired.

The first oil shock hit demand for the 1974 cars and the timing was bad for all points in the production and distribution chain.  Noting the favourable reviews, dealers had ordered large stocks to meet the expected demand but the Arab Oil Embargo meant sales of big cars collapsed and the Chryslers, with V8 engines between 318-440 cubic inches (5.2-7.2 litres) were as thirsty as any of their ilk and supplies of cars expected to be sold in days languished on dealer’s lots for months.  In response, Chrysler shut down two manufacturing plants while trying to increase production or imports of small, fuel-efficient vehicles.  Sales of the big cars in 1974 were barely half those of the previous year and the breakdown of those was a harbinger for the whole industry, the numbers disproportionately slanted towards the higher-priced lines, the entry-level models attracting interest mostly from fleet operators and law enforcement.  The days of the low-cost big sedans which appealed to those like Harry Truman who liked the virtues without the ostentation, were over.

1978 Chrysler New Yorker advertising.  Still obviously bulky, the 1974-1978 re-style toned down the fuselage look although the interiors in tufted leather or velor became increasingly baroque.  Publications like Road & Track (R&T) where the writers disapproved of anything so big (they thought everyone should drive a Lancia) sneered at the extravagant fit-out, dismissing it as "gingerbread" but it was a luxurious and isolating environment.  There were still many who liked that sort of thing, none of whom maintained subscriptions to R&T.

So the writing was on the wall and even by 1977 when the oil crisis faded from memory and it seemed buyers were ready again to buy big, Chrysler was left with its now 1974 range while press and public fawned over General Motors’ (GM) newly slimmed-down, taut looking, full-size cars, the style and dimensions of which were so obviously the future.  Tellingly, while radically reduced in weight and external measurements, on the inside, they were in most places as capacious as both their predecessors and the now antique Chryslers which were still just an update of the 1969 fuselage range.  With the coming of 1976, the corporation had accepted the inevitable and axed the Imperial brand, Chrysler's top-of-the-range New Yorker tarted-up with left-over Imperial trim to become the new flagship.  The end was close and in 1978 it came, that the last year of the big Chryslers released with such high expectations a decade before and when the line was retired, it took with it the once popular four-door hardtop body-style, other manufacturers having already retired their models.  Shockingly inefficient though they are, the few surviving land yachts have a small but devoted following who appreciate what remains a unique driving experience (one as enjoyable as a passenger) and it's unlikely anything like them will ever be built again.

Squoval

Squoval (pronounced sqwoh-vuhl)

(1) In cosmetology, a description applied mostly to describe the shape of certain fingernails and faces; essentially an oblong (a rectangle with partially ovoid shorter sides).

(2) In commerce, a trademark of the bicycle company Cervélo, describing the cross sectional shape of the downtube used in frame construction.

1984: A portmanteau word, sq(uare)- + oval.  Square was from the Middle English square, sqware & squyre from the Old French esquarre & esquerre, (which survives in modern French as équerre), from the Vulgar Latin exquadra, derived from the Latin quadro, from quadrus (square), from quattuor (four).  Oval was from the Late Latin ovalis, from ovum (egg); it was cognate with the French and Italian ovale and the Dutch ovaal.  Used both as noun and adjective, coinage is credited to Paula Gilmore, a noted manicurist (nail technician) and owner of Tips Nail Salon in San Mateo, California.  Squoval is a noun & verb, squovaled & squovaled are verbs and squovallike is an adjective; the noun plural is squovals.

Art of the fingernail

A pleasing creation, sqoval is misleading because it’s used to reference a shape which is actually a rectangle with the shorter sides defined by curves which tend to the semi-circular.  In geometry, such a shape is called a stadium, discorectangle or an obround.  It’s not to be confused with a square with rounded corners which, despite frequent use, is neither a "quartic" nor a "sqound".  A quartic is “an algebraic equation or function of the fourth degree or a curve describing such an equation or function” and sqound (a portmanteau word, the construct being sq(uare) + (r)ound is the ultimate niche word, the only known use by collectors of C4 Chevrolet Corvettes (1984-1996) describing the shift in 1990 from round to "square with rounded corners" taillights.  Mathematicians insist the correct word for a "square with rounded corners" is "squircle" (in algebraic geometry "a closed quartic curve having properties intermediate between those of a square and a circle").  The construct of squircle is squ(are) +c(ircle).  Few etymologists (and certainly no lexicographers) appear to have listed sqound as a "real" word but it's of interest because it's a rare example of a word where a "q" is not followed by a "u"; such constructs do exist but usually in the cases where initialisms have become acronyms such as Qantas (Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services).  Such words do appear in English language texts but they tend to be foreign borrowings including (1) qat (or khat) (a plant native to East Africa and the Arabian Peninsula, often chewed for its stimulant effects, (2) qi (a term from Chinese philosophy referring to life force or energy), qibla (the direction Muslims face when praying, towards the Kaaba in Mecca and (4) qiviut (the soft under-wool of the musk-ox, valued when making warm clothing).  

Squoval is thus a commercial descriptor in the fingernail business rather than a precise geometric description.  The basic rectangle metaphor is important in fingernail shaping because manicurists borrow from art and architecture the golden ratio which suggests humans find most aesthetically pleasing, shapes with an aspect ratio of about 1.6:1 which, coincidentally, is the relationship between a kilometre and a mile.  Nails can be shaped beyond the nominally perfect 1.6:1 but tend either to be thought exaggerated or created purely for artistic display, often to create a large surface for designs.  Manicurists, certainly in the Instagram age, are an imaginative profession and there’s been a proliferation of terms to describe species.  However, within the fingernail family, there are eight basic genera, practitioners inventing or classifying species as they emerge.  To date, the lipstick is the only widely-used form which is asymmetric.

The classic oval is said to be a symmetrical ellipse where the curve of the tip exactly mirrors the curve of the cuticle but, in real-world conditions, the former usually only tends to the latter.  The shape is natural, flattering and adaptable to both long and short nails.

Long coffins.

A natural coffin demands long nails with the fragility that implies.  The nail needs to be sufficiently long so both sides can be filed to a tapered point something like a stiletto before the tip is squared-off.  Because of that, they’re often constructed with acrylics.  Coffin in this context is actually a modern appropriation to describe what was historically known as the ballerina, a descriptor some European fashion houses still prefer but the Instagram generation has moved on and like coffin.  Coffins are rare worn in the elongated form.

Square nails provide a shape which is less susceptible to damage than many but doesn’t suit all shapes.  It’s best adopted by those with a narrow nail bed because the flat tip creates an optical illusion of additional width, making nails appear wider than they are.  Rarely seen variations include the cut out (a twin-peaked effect), the lipstick (uniquely, with an asymmetric tip) and the trapeze or flare (where the metaphor is the bell-bottom trouser leg).

A statement shape, something of a triumph of style over functionally, the stiletto gains its dramatic effect from long and slender lines and can be shaped with either fully-tapered or partially square sides.  They’re vulnerable to damage, breaking when subjected to even slight impacts and almost never possible with natural growth.  True obsessives insist they should be worn only with stiletto heels and then only if the colors exactly match.

Squovals in Dior 999.

With straight sides and a curved top, the squoval, while not as dramatic as a coffin, is good, functional engineering because its softer edges are less prone to snagging and tearing than those of a square and break less the more more delicate almonds.  Technically, the squoval is just a species of the square but its popularity meant it came to be classified as its own genus.

Usually very long, the almond has an elongated shape and a tapered tip.  Even when applied to nails with a narrow bed, they’re inherently weak at the tip so most are constructed from acrylics.  It’s a style which attracts many variations on the theme, often tending to a truer emulation of the nut at which point some should probably be classified as pointed.

Realistically, pointed nails, certainly in their more extreme iterations (sometimes called mountain peaks, edges, arrow-heads, claws or talons), are more for short-term effect than anything permanent.  Best used with acrylics, the knife-like style can be a danger to the nail itself and any nearby skin or stockings.  Those contemplating intimacy with a women packing these should first ponder the implications.

Lindsay Lohan with rounds, 2006

Rounds are less a style than a detailing of the natural human shape.  Usually worn short and simple and rarely needing an acrylic overlay, it’s a classic look with the added benefit of durability and low maintenance.

Nerf

Nerf (pronounced nurf)

(1) A device, traditionally metal but of late also rubber or plastic, attached to the front or corners of boats or road vehicles for the purpose of absorbing impacts which would otherwise damage the device to which they’re attached.

(2) A slang term in motorsport which describes the (intentional) use of part of a vehicle to nudge another vehicle off its course; used also to describe the almost full-length protective bars used in some forms of dirt-track (speedway) racing (although the term may have be retrospectively applied, based on the use on hot-rods).

(3) As a trademark, the brand name of a number of toys, often modeled on sports equipment but made of foam rubber or other soft substances.

(4) In video gaming, a slang term for reconfigure an existing character or weapon, rendering it less powerful.

(5) By extension from the original use at the front and rear of 1950s hot rod cars and in motorsport, the name adopted (as nerf bar) for a step to ease entry and exit on pickup trucks or sport utility vehicles (SUV) and known also as step rails, step tubes, step bars or truck steps; also sometimes used to describe the extended foot-rests used on some motorcycles.

(6) As "nerf gun", a toy which fires foam darts, arrows, discs, or foam balls; the class is based on the original "Nerf Blaster" by Hasbro.

Circa 1955: Apparently an invention of US (specifically 1950s Californian hot-rod culture) English, the source of the word being speculative.  The later use, in computer-based gaming, etymologists trace (though there is dissent) from the primitive Indo-European mith- (to exchange, remove) from which Latin gained missilis (that may be thrown (in the plural missilia (presents thrown among the people by the emperors)), source (via the seventeenth century Middle French missile (projectile)) of the English missile ((1) in a military context a self-propelled projectile whose trajectory can sometimes be adjusted after it is launched & (2) any object used as a weapon by being thrown or fired through the air, such as stone, arrow or bullet).  Nerf is a noun & verb, nerfed is a verb & adjective and nerfing is a verb; the noun plural is nerfs.

Lindsay Lohan holding Herbie's nerf bar, Herbie Fully:Loaded (2005) premiere, El Capitan Theater, Hollywood, Los Angeles, 19 June 2005.

In the US, nerf bars were often fitted to cars with bumper bars mounted lower than were typically found on domestic vehicles.  What these nerf bars did was provide a low-cost, sacrificial device which would absorb the impact the bodywork would otherwise suffer because the standard bumper would pass under the bumper of whatever was hit in an accident.  On a large scale, the idea was in the 1960s implemented on trucks as the "Mansfield Bar", a (partial) solution to the matter (understood since the 1920s) of cars crashing into the rear of trucks, tending increasingly (as bodywork became lower) to “pass under” the rear of a truck's chassis, meaning it was the passenger compartment (at the windscreen level) which suffered severe damage.  The death toll over the decades was considerable and Jayne Mansfield (1933–1967) the most famous victim, hence the eponymy.  Design rules and regulations began to proliferate only in the late 1960s and remarkably as it must seem in these safety conscious times, in the US it wasn't until the early 1970s that cars were required to be built with standardized bumper-bar heights, front & rear.

The suggested etymology is said to account for the application of nerf to gaming where it means “to cripple, weaken, worsen, deteriorate or debuff” (“debuff” a linguistic novelty attributed to gamers) a character, a weapon, a spell etc.  The idea is apparently derived from the proprietary “Nerf” guns, large-scale (often realized in 1:1) toys which fire extremely soft (and therefore harmless) projectiles (al la missilis from the Latin); the Nerfball in 1970 apparently the first.  It doesn’t however account for the use either in motorsport or on hot-rods but the evidence suggests it was the hot-rod crew who used it first, based on an imperfect echoic, thinking the dirt-track (speedway) drivers using the protective bars running along the outside of the bodywork of their vehicles to nudge other competitors off the track and onto the grass were saying “to nerf” whereas they were actually saying “to turf”.  Because the hot-rods became widely known as part of the novel “youth culture” of the 1950s, the specifics of their slang also sometimes entered the wider vocabulary and the bars of the speedway cars, in an example of back-formation, also became “nerf bars”.

Nerf bars on a hot-rod.

AC Shelby Cobra 427 (replica) with naked nerf bars (top) and a real one with over-riders fitted (bottom).

The ultimate hot-rod was the AC Shelby Cobra (1962-1967) of which fewer than a thousand were made, a number exceeded more than fifty-fold by the replica industry which has flourished since the bulge-bodied original was retired in 1967, looming regulations proving just to onerous economically to comply with.  The first Shelby Cobra street cars used nerf bars as attachment points for chrome over-riders but, as a weight-saving measure, the latter were usually removed when the vehicles were used in competition, leaving the raw nerf bars exposed.  The raw look has become popular with customers of the replica versions and, surprisingly, the authorities in some jurisdictions appear to allow them to be registered in this state for street use.

On production vehicles, what are sometimes mistakenly called nerf bars are actually “bumperettes”, cut-down bumpers which in their more dainty iterations were sometimes little more than a decorative allusion to the weight-saving techniques used on genuine competition cars.  The increasing stringent impact regulations imposed during the 1970s ended the trend but modern engineering techniques have allowed designers to pick up the motif in the twenty-first century.

The concept of nerf bars as used on hot-rods existed long before the term became popular and can be found in depictions of Greek and Roman ships from antiquity and remain a common sight today, either as a specifically-designed product or simply as old car-tyres secured to the side of the hull and used especially on vessels such as tug-boats which need often to be maneuvered in close proximity to others.  The correct admiralty term for these is "fender" (ie in the sense of "fending-off" whatever it is the vessel has hit).  Manufactured usually from rubber, foam or plastic, there are also companion products, “marine fenders”, which are larger and permanently attached to docks on quay walls and other berthing structures.  Much larger than those attached to vessels, they're best thought of as big cushions (which often they resemble).  The construct was fend + er (the suffix added to verbs and used to form an agent noun); fend was from the Middle English fenden (defend, fight, prevent), a shortening of defenden (defend), from the Old French deffendre (which endures in modern French as défendre), from the Latin dēfendō (to ward off), the construct being dē- (of, from) +‎ fendō (hit, thrust), from the primitive Indo-European ghen- (strike, kill).

Mouse

Mouse (pronounced mous (verb form sometimes mouz))

(1) Any of numerous small Old World rodents of the family Muridae, especially of the genus Mus, introduced widely in other parts of the world.

(2) Any similar small animal of various rodent and marsupial families.

(3) As a verb (used with object), moused or mousing (1) to hunt out, as a cat hunts out mice, (2) to move a cursor about a screen using a mouse or (3) to prowl about, as if in search of something.

(4) In nautical use, to secure with a mousing (a turn or lashing of spun yarn or small stuff, or a metallic clasp or fastening, uniting the point and shank of a hook to prevent its unhooking or straightening out).

(5) As mouse-like, when applied to people, a descriptor of timidity.

(6) One of a brace of rodent-based slang terms to differentiate between the small-block (mouse motor) and big-block (rat motor) Chevrolet V8s built mostly in the mid-late twentieth century.

(7) In computing, a hand-held device used to control the cursor movement and select computing functions without using the keyboard.

(8) As a descriptor of hair color, a dull and lifeless blonde.

(9) In boxing, slang for black eye (hematoma).

(10) In early artillery, a match used in firing guns or in blasting.

(11) In the mathematics of set theory, a fragment of Zermelo-Fraenkel set theory with desirable properties (depending on the context).

(12) A small cushion for a woman's hair (obsolete).

(13) As mouse hair, an expression used to describe the suede-like covering used by some low-volume Italian car manufacturers for some interior fittings.

Pre 900: From the Middle English mous (plural mis) and Old English mūs (small rodent (also “muscle of the arm”)) (plural mȳs), from the Proto-Germanic mus, probably ultimately derived from the primitive Indo-European mus & muhs.  Germanic cognates include the Old Frisian mūs, the Old Saxon mūs, the Low German Muus, the Dutch muis, the Old High German mūs (German Maus), the Old Norse mús, the Swedish mus, the Danish mus, the Norwegian mus, the Icelandic mús & the Faroese mús.  Indo-European cognates include the Ancient Greek μῦς (mûs), the Latin mūs, the Spanish mur, the Armenian մուկ (muk), the Old Church Slavonic myšĭ, the Russian мышь (myšʹ), the Albanian mi, the Persian موش‎ (muš) & the Sanskrit मूष् (mūṣ).

Lindsay Lohan with Mickey Mouse.

The use to describe something (or more commonly someone) as timid or weak dates from the late fourteenth century and the phrase of diametric contrast “an or mouse” emerged in the 1620s.  The meaning "black eye" (or other dis-colored lump on the body) is from 1842 and is part of the jargon of boxing.  The familiar use in computing to describe a "small device moved by the hand over a flat surface to maneuver a cursor or arrow on a display screen" is from 1965, though the word had been applied to many objects with some vague remembrance to the rodent was applied to many objects since 1750 and was especially popular in Admiralty use.  The computer mouse picked up the name because the cord which connected it to the computer (which in the early days of PCs was usually a serial or bus connection) was compared to the creature’s tail; although mice are increasingly wireless and thus have no “tail” the name has stuck, divorced from the original imagery.  The preferred plural is mice (pronounced mahys); in the Old English it was mys and mice is thus an example if i-mutation.  The curious adoption of mouses as the plural for the computer mouse had no etymological or other basis and seems to have come into use to ensure references to the plastic pointing device wouldn’t be confused with rodents though it’s difficult to imagine that would often happen.

Lindsay Lohan in Minnie Mouse mode.

The verb mouse (to hunt or catch mice) developed from the noun in the mid-thirteenth century and was from the earlier mousen while the noun mouse-hole (very small hole where mice go in and out, a hole only big enough to admit a mouse) dates from the early fifteenth century; from later that century, the noun mouser (cat that hunts mice) was an agent noun from the verb.  The adjective mousy (resembling a mouse) dates from 1812 was actually used mostly as a synonym of “mouse-like” to describe the demeanour of the timid although there are instances of use in zoology as an anatomical descriptor; after 1512 it came to describe hair color, now more memorably referred to as dirty blonde”.  The noun mousetrap (trap for catching mice) emerged in the mid-fifteenth century with figurative use noted since the 1570s.  The device however is an ancient design (which, conceptually, probably can’t be improved upon) and in the Old English was musfealle (literally "mouse-fall" after the imagery of the trap falling on the mouse); in the late fourteenth century Middle English it was mouscacche (literally "mouse-catch").

The figurative use of Mickey Mouse, the cartoon character created in 1928 by US animator Walt Disney (1901-1966) is interesting.  As an adjective meaning "small and worthless, petty, inconsequential" it was in use by 1951, presumably a reference to the less than exact accuracy in time-keeping by the popular, cheaply made Mickey Mouse wristwatch.  A similar negative connotation had emerged in 1935 to describe the innocuous but unimaginative dance-band music played as background in cartoon films.  However, by the 1950s, the Californian hot-rod movement had adopted Mickey Mouse as a contronym to describe the best and most desirable after-market equipment.

Small and big-block Chevrolet V8s compared, the small-block (mouse) to the left in each image, the big-block (rat) to the right.

Mouse and rat are informal terms used respectively to refer to the classic small (1955-2003 although still produced as a crate-engine) and big-block Chevrolet V8s (1958-2021 although still produced as a crate-engine).  The small-block was first named although the origin is contested; either it was (1) an allusion to “mighty mouse” a popular cartoon character of the 1950s, the idea being the relatively small engine being able to out-perform many bigger units from other manufacturers or (2) an allusion to the big, heavy Chrysler Hemi V8s (the first generation 331, 354 & 392 cubic inch versions) being known as “the elephant”, the idea based on the widely held belief that elephants are scared of mice (which may actually be true although the reason appears not to be the long repeated myth it’s because the little rodents might climb up their trunk).  The mouse (small-block) and rat (big-block) distinction is simple to understand: the big block is externally larger although, the internal displacement of some mouse motors was greater than some rats.

The plural in Modern English

The tendency by the mid-1980s to differentiate between multiple rodents and multiple Computer-Aided Display Control Devices (as mice were first called) as mice and mouses respectively was curious.  While the onset of mass-market computing in the 1980s made some linguistic differentiation desirable (eg between program for software and programme for all other contexts), there has never been much chance, in any context, of confusing rodents with two or more computer mice.  Hopefully, mouses will go extinct.

One mouse, two mice.

That does beg the question of why multiple rodents are mice and not mouses given that would be the usual practice in English: add an “s”.  Among animals, the mouse is not unique in this variation; there’s also moose, ox and goose, none of which enjoy plurals created by adding an “s” and there’s no apparent consistency for were the model for oxen to be universal, Modern English would enjoy goosen, micen and moosen, an echo of Old English.  In Modern English, mostly the noun plural is made by adding an “s” but there are irregular plurals, many but not all of which are animal names.   

The first group of irregular nouns come from an obsolete strain of Old English and includes ox and oxen.  Old English was a West Germanic language spoken and written between the mid-fifth and late-eleventh centuries in parts of what are now England and southern Scotland; it’s in this the epic poem Beowulf was written.  Although unintelligible to speakers of Modern English, as it evolved, it retained some elements of Old English including the plural nouns oxen, children and brethren although the evolution was organic and not consistent; some other nouns, such as eye, house and hose used to be pluralized in a similar way, but those forms, eyen, housen and hosen are now dialectic or obsolete.  Hosen of course endures in Modern German, as in lederhosen but, there are at least five different ways German nouns can form the plural.

The second group of irregular plurals are mutants, also from Old English roots.  Examples include foot, goose, woman and louse which as plurals became feet, geese, women, and lice, all under the influence of German.  Mutated plurals are formed simply by changing the vowel sound of the singular, in a process called “umlaut”.  An “umlaut” is better known as the two-dot symbol seen above some German vowels, but there’s also a sense in which it’s a concept in technical linguistics.  While quite rare in Modern English, mutated plurals are in common use and include man & men, mouse & mice and tooth & teeth.

Finally, there are nouns where the singular and plural forms are the same, such as deer, fish, moose, sheep, shrimp and swine; these are called zero-plural nouns.  Many are animals, but there are others such as aircraft and species.  Even here, there are deviations such as the convention in science to use fishes to differentiate between one and multiple species of fish which makes sense in a way mouses never did.

The fish vs fishes thing does have history.  There are many references to fish in the Bible, never species, just fish singular or plural but translators rendered the plural as both “fish” and “fishes” even when not necessarily referring to actual fish.  Translators used “fish” in its plural sense when the Greek opsarion appeared, a word simply denoting food eaten with bread, which was often fish but it’s translated also as "fishes", the original spellings often "fysshe" and "fysshes".  Both the original 1611 and the 1789 revision of the King James Version are rendered thus:

John 21:8 And the other disciples came in a little ship; (for they were not far from land, but as it were two hundred cubits,) dragging the net with fishes.

John 21:9 As soon then as they were come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid thereon, and bread.

John 21:10 Jesus saith unto them, Bring of the fish which ye have now caught.

John 21:11 Simon Peter went up, and drew the net to land full of great fishes, an hundred and fifty and three: and for all there were so many, yet was not the net broken.

None of this offers any revelation of grammatical or theological truth but it does illustrate the murky history of English plurals.  So, in English, there is no consistent rule for noun plural formations.  Unfortunately, the language is what it is and all that can be done is to memorize weird plurals, just as one has to learn irregular verbs.

Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus

The “mountain in labor” is imagery dating from Antiquity (thought to be a Greek proverb) and has since often been used in Western literature.  The idea is of speech in a literary or political context which promises much but delivers little (ie “over promising and under-delivering” or “much ado about little”).  It’s best remembered in the phrase used by the lyric poet Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus, 65-8 BC) in the influential Ars Poetica (The Art of Poetry (19 BC)): Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus (The mountains are in labor but only an absurd mouse will be born).

And don’t start like the old writer of epic cycles:

‘Of Priam’s fate I’ll sing, and the greatest of Wars.’

What could he produce to match his opening promise?

Mountains will labour: what’s born? A ridiculous mouse!