Dope

Dope (pronounced dohp)

(1) Any thick liquid or pasty preparation, as a lubricant, used in preparing a surface.

(2) A combustible absorbent material (historically sawdust or wood-pulp), used to absorb and hold the nitroglycerine in the manufacture of dynamite (used also of the processes in the manufacture of other products).

(3) An absorbent material, such as sawdust or wood pulp, used to hold the nitroglycerine in dynamite

(4) In aeronautics (and other fields), any of various varnish-like preparations (made by dissolving cellulose derivatives in a volatile solvent) used for coating a fabric (wings, fuselage etc), in order to render it stronger and more taut, aerodynamic and waterproof.

(5) Any of a number of preparations, applied to fabric in order to improve strength, tautness, etc

(6) A chemically similar product used to coat the fabric of a balloon to reduce gas leakage.

(7) An additive used to improve the properties of something (such as the “anti-knock” compounds added to gasoline (petrol).

(8) A thick liquid (typically a lubricant), applied to a surface.

(9) In slang, any narcotic or narcotic-like drug taken to induce euphoria or some other desired effect (and eventually to satisfy addiction); now used most of cannabis although other terms are now more common.

(10) Any illicit drug.

(11) In sport, a “performance enhancing drug” (PED; steroids, peptides etc), taken by athletes.

(12) In horse racing, a narcotic or other drug given surreptitiously to a horse to improve or retard its performance in a race.

(13) In firearms, ballistic data on previously fired rounds, used to calculate the required hold over a target.

(14) In slang, information, data, knowledge or news (sometimes used especially of confidential information).

(15) In slang, someone thought unintelligent, stupid or unresponsive etc.

(16) In US slang (mostly south of the Mason-Dixon Line, especially Appalachia), a carbonated, flavored and sweetened drink (used especially of cola-flavored sodas (soft drinks)).

(17) In US slang (East North Central Division of the Mid-West, especially Ohio), a sweet syrup used as a topping for ice cream.

(18) To affect with dope or drugs.

(19) To add a narcotic or other drug to something.

(20) To give a drug to (an athlete or horse), so as to affect performance in a race (for better or worse) or other competition.

(21) To take illicit drugs (in any context)

(22) In engineering to apply or treat a surface with dope.

(23) In electronics, to add or treat a pure semiconductor with a dopant.

(24) In slang, photographic developing solution

(25) In slang, great; excellent (always regionally variable and now les common).

1807: Apparently a creation of US English meaning “sauce, gravy; any thick liquid”, from the Dutch (dialectical) doop (thick dipping sauce), a derivative of dopen or doopen (to dip, baptize; deep), from the Middle Dutch dopen, from the Old Dutch dōpen, from the Frankish daupijan, from the Proto-Germanic daupijaną.  By extension, by the late nineteenth century it came generally to be used of any mixture or preparation of unknown ingredients producing a thick liquid.  The use of doop in the sense “narcotic drug” was derived ultimately from the viscous opium juice (the drug of choice of the well-connected in Ancient Greece) but in English was in use by at least 1899 and came from the smoking of semi-liquid opium preparations.  The verb use in the sense of “administer a drug to” appeared in print in 1889.  The idea of “insider information” was in use by at least 1901 and is thought to come from the knowledge of knowing which horse in a race had been doped (thus predicting it would run faster or slower than its form would suggest), this sense dating from 1900.  From this idea (inside information) developed the US slang “to dope out” (figure out, clarify).    The sense of “an unintelligent person” may have been used as early as the 1840s and came from the stupefying effects of opium, those intoxicated displaying obvious impaired cognitive facilities.  The word was related to the English dip and the German taufen (to baptize) but not to dopamine which came from chemistry, the construct being (DOPA (dihydroxyphenylalanine) +‎ -amine.

Unlike some constructions in English (eg domelessness (absence of a dome) or the informal gaynessness (“excessive” gayness)), there seems no recorded use of dopnessness.  For the commoly used “dopey”, the comparative is dopier and the superlative dopiest.  The use of “doper” to describe both: (1) someone who administers dope and (2) someone to whom dope is administered differs from the convention used in many words in English (eg payer vs payee) so the non-standard noun dopee can also be a synonym of doper.  Presumably, a useful distinction would be a dopee being one whose dope has been administered by another while a doper is one who self-administers.  Dope is a noun, verb & adjective, dopiness & dopeness are nouns, doper is a noun & adjective, doping is a noun & verb, doped is a verb & adjective and dopey (sometimes spelled dopy (the derived forms following this)) dopier & dopiest are adjectives, the noun plural is dopes.  Acronymfinder list eleven DOPEs, only two of which are narcotic related.

DOPE: Drug Overdose Prevention and Education (various organizations).
DOPE: Department of Public Enterprise.
DOPE: Data on Personal Equipment (sniper rifle data logging).
DOPE: Death or Prison Eventually (movie).
DOPE: Data on Previous Engagement (military sniper term).
DOPE: Drugs Oppress People Everyday.
DOPE: Dartmouth Oversimplified Programming Experiment.
DOPE: Director of Product Enhancements (Dilbert).
DOPE: Displacement of breathing tube, Obstruction, Pneumothorax, Equipment failure.
DOPE: Data Observed from Previous Engagements (ballistics).
DOPE: Director of Performance Enhancement (New York Yankees).

The use by the New York Yankees MLB (Major League Baseball) franchise seems daring given the existence of the Independent Program Administrator (IPA) of the Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program (JBTPT) which monitors the use of PEDs in the sport.  The JBTPT jointly is run by the MLB and the MLBPA (Major League Baseball Players Association) and the IPA oversees all drug testing, collection and enforcement.  Pleasingly, the JBTPB often is referred to as the “Major League Joint Drug Program”.

Dilbert cartoon by Scott Adams, published in 1995 on Bastille Day (14 July). 

First published in 1989, the once widely-syndicated "corporate life" Dilbert cartoon strip dealt with engineers, programmers and such working in a corporation run by those without a technical background, the exemplar of the latter being the “pointy haired boss”.  The cartoon was the work of Scott Adams (b 1957) who in 2023 was “cancelled” after posting a video in which he called “Black Americans”, critical of the slogan “It's okay to be white” because of its association with white supremacist ideology, a “hate group”, suggesting “White Americans” should “get the hell away from” them.  Mr Adams later disavowed racism and moved his output on-line.

On the Dilbert website, Mr Adams stated: “No news about public figures is ever true and in context” and explained his cancellation thus: “If you believe the news, it was because I am a big ol' racist.”  Fleshing that out, he added: “If you look into the context, the point that got me cancelled is that CRT [Critical Race Theory], DEI [Diversity, Equity & Inclusion] and ESG [Environmental, Social and Governance] all have in common the framing that White Americans are historically the oppressors and Black Americans have been oppressed, and it continues to this day.  I recommended staying away from any group of Americans that identifies your group as the bad guys, because that puts a target on your back.  I was speaking hyperbolically, of course, because we Americans don't have an option of staying away from each other. But it did get a lot of attention, as I hoped.  (More than I planned, actually).”  Dlibert devotees prepared to separate art from artist were advised: “Disgraced and canceled cartoonist Scott Adams has moved his work and upgraded it to a spicier version entitled Dilbert Reborn.”

A "Dope Mobile Bookstore" is scheduled to go on-line in December 2025 and there really was briefly a "Dope Mobile" (left) which was an on-line store for mobile phone accessories and should not be confused with a "dopemobile" which is a "dope dealer's" car.  Especially in black, a Chrysler 300 (2005-2023) is almost a cliché as a dopemobile and this 2009 model (on flatbed truck, right) was seized by New Zealand police from the estate of a deceased "dope dealer" (a profession with an unusually high death rate).  The informal term "dopemoble" can mean either (1) a vehicle in which a "dope dealer" transacts "dope deals" or (2) a vehicle believed or proved to have been purchased using the proceeds of "dope dealing".  

Purple Haze, Blue Cheese and more.  The proprietors of Amsterdam’s coffee shops have always come up evocative and fanciful names for dope.  One has to have the coffee one drinks and one has to have the weed one smokes.

In derived terms and idiomatic use, “dope” appears often but because of the dual meaning (narcotics and a varnish-like substance), the same term can mean very different things so context must be noted when assessing a meaning.  A “dope stick” (also as dopestick) can describe (1) a stick or applicator for spreading dope (a viscous liquid or paste used in preparing a surface) on a surface or, in slang (2) a cigar or cigarette, (3) a pipe, (4) a marijuana joint or something similar laced with cocaine or other drug or (5) a penis suffering from priapism (a condition in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation) as a result of the use of cocaine or heroin.  The condition may sound desirable but is both potentially painful and risks long-term tissue damage.

Color chart, circa 1940. Some of the pigments available for Berry Brothers "Berryloid Pigmented Dopes".

“Dope dick” (impotence induced by heavy drinking or other substance abuse) is a synonym of other slang forms including “coke dick”, “crystal dick”, “whisky dick” & “brewer's droop”.  A “dope whore” is someone addicted to narcotics who finances the habit through prostitution, the synonyms being “coke whore”, “smack slut”, “crack whore” etc.  To “smoke one's own dope” means “to believe one’s own publicity, propaganda, lies or posturing; the synonym is “to drink one's own Kool-Aid”.  For those who like to make such connections, Kool-Aid is the official soft-drink of the US state of Nebraska, otherwise famous only for being the home of billionaire investor Warren Buffett (b 1930).  To “dope out” means “to figure out, to find out, find, decipher”, something Mr Buffet certainly did of investing for profit although wryly, he notes that often when folk ask him the “secret of his success” and he tells them how his strategy worked over decades, there’s an obvious sense of disappointment because what people really want to know is “how can I get rich overnight?”  He assures all he doesn’t “have the dope” on that.

Punters dope sheet (form guide), 2024 Melbourne Cup.

A “dope sheet” is a summary (ordinarily in the form of a codified, printed or digital document), containing salient facts and background information concerning a person, activity, or other subject matter.  The origin is thought to be the publications associated with horse racing (the name derived from the suspicion the most accurate indicator of a horse’s performance was whether or not it had been doped with some substance to make it run faster or slower) in which was summarized information about the horses running in certain races.  Such publications are now known variously as scratch sheets, tip sheets, firm guides, best bets etc.  Beyond gambling, “dope sheets” (a term which became misleading because some publications could be quite thick volumes) came to be used in fields as varied as automotive repair and especially in photography, film & animation; in the latter were listed the designer’s detailed instructions for artists & editors (known also as an “exposure sheet”).

Lindsay Lohan gives CNN the dope on dope use during her "troubled starlet" phase.

In the world of narcotics users (there really are many quite separate populations in “doperdom”) dope is sold by a “dope dealer”, “dope-runner”, “dope-pedlar”, “dope-pusher”, “dope-seller” or “dope-man”, sometimes from a “dope-house” whereas a “dopester” is a “street-level” trader who may be operating independently but is typically an agent on commission (paid sometimes “in kind”) and often operating from a "dopemobile").  Both retailers sell to “dope fiends”, “dope chicks”, “dope heads” etc (those who variously use or abuse) while a “dope dog” is a canine used by law enforcement officers to “sniff-out” dope.  The “dope house” must however not be confused with the “dope-shop” which was the part of the factory (typically one manufacturing aircraft) where dope was applied to the fabric laid over the spars of an airframe.  In the “dope house” was employed the “doper” who applied the dope to the fabric (dated) and again the meaning is shared with those involved with narcotics or PEDs.  If the “dope deal” couldn't for whatever reason be executed, the customer was left “dopeless” and those who over-consume could become “dope sick” (in withdrawal from “dope use”) which is different from the potentially fatal “dope overdose”.  “Dope time” & “doper time” both reference the way one’s perception of the passing of time changes when one is under the influence of narcotics.  It’s along the lines of “country mile” (typically somewhat longer than 1760 yards) or “Microsoft minutes” (referencing the dialog boxes which appeared in MS-Windows during certain operations saying something like “17 minutes remaining” which could mean anything from a few seconds to many hours).

The Dope: The Real History of the Mexican Drug Trade by Professor Benjamin T. Smith.

The title's play on words is this being “the dope” on “the dope trade” out of Mexico.  In the well-populated sub-culture of narcotics use (illicit and not), there exists a bewildering array of names, vernacular and slang, some now registered trade-marks as many jurisdictions have relaxed the prohibition on “soft drugs’ but “dope” remains the most useful generic “cover-all” term.  Nor is the use of “dope” as a generic new, Lord Moran (Charles Wilson, 1882-1977; president of the Royal College of Physicians 1941-1949, personal physician (1940-1965) to Winston Churchill (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955) in his diary (Churchill taken from the Diaries of Lord Moran: The Struggle for Survival, 1940–1965 (1966)) noting on 2 December 1952, during a trans-Atlantic flight:

“This may be my last journey with Winston.  We began life humbly enough, in an unheated Lancaster bomber, and end it, twelve years later, in high state in the strato-cruiser Canopus. Messages no longer pass to the captain asking at what height we are flying; 18,000 feet or 11,000 feet (both were recorded last night), it is all one to us, pressurized at 5,000 feet.  Most of the seniors and quite a number of the juniors came to me last night for sleeping pills - this weak kneed generation that needs dope for a few hours in the air.”

Boeing 377 Stratocruiser in United Airlines livery in 63-passenger configuration including sleeping berths, a state room and lounge bar.

Lord Moran was of course well-acquainted with dope, having for years suppled Churchill with “downers” (barbiturates) to help him sleep and “uppers” (amphetamines, then commonly called “pep pills”) to perk him up, Churchill ignoring the apothecary’s descriptions and dubbing the various tablets with terms from his own ad-hoc pharmacological vocabulary including “Lord Morans”, “majors”, “minors”, “reds”, “greens”, “babies” and “midgets”, all based either on the pill’s appearance or its potency, the latter established empirically.   In fairness to the Lord Moran's doped airline passengers, with a cruising speed (depending on conditions) between 300–340 mph (480–550 km/h), trans-Atlantic flight time for the Boeing 377 Stratocruiser was typically 10 hours (eastbound) to 11-12 hours (westbound), a duration compelling until the new generation of jetliners cut the trip to 6–7 hours.  A civilian version of the C-97 Stratofreighter military heavy-transporter (developed from the B-29 Superfortress heavy bomber), the Stratocruiser was, when its first test-flight was undertaken in 1947, the world biggest airliner and could carry up to 100 passengers in a multi-deck configuration although most were configured for fewer and outfitted with the luxuries which appealed to the demographic then able to afford to travel by air.  Very modern when first it flew, there were no "doped fabric" surfaces on the Stratocruiser, the fuselage, wings and tail made almost wholly from an aluminum alloy (mostly duralumin); it was thus, in the parlance of the day, an "all metal" craft.  However, despite extensive development, the problems with the 28-cylinder Pratt & Whitney radial engines were never wholly resolved and while they came to be practical for military use, they remained maintenance-intensive so operating costs were high and between 1949-1963 only 55 Stratocruisers were ever in service.

Berry Brothers advertising (1929) of their Berryloid Pigmented Dope, illustrated by applying avian coloring to aircraft.  This was Number 10 of the series and depicts the Mono Aircraft Corporation's Monocoupe, doped in the color scheme of the sexually dimorphic red winged blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus).  Only the males feature the distinctive red shoulder and yellow wing bar over black, the female's feathers a nondescript dark brown.

“Pipe dope”, despite the name, is not used of the drug-smoking devices and refers to any of the many lubricants and sealants used to make a pipe thread joint leak-proof and pressure-tight.  In US military slang, a “scope dope” was the officer responsible for radar or a radar operator.  The technical terms “photodope”, “photodoping” & “photodoped” come from materials science and described the process of removing a dopant (a substance added in small amounts to a pure material, such as semiconductor, to alter its original electrical or optical properties).  In electronics, impurities are added to semiconductors as a way of (1) producing a desired result or (2) modifying its properties.  In the tuning of stringed musical instruments, “peg dope” is a substance used to lubricate the pegs of an instrument and to provide the desired friction between pegs and strings.  Use seems not to have extended to other fields but conceivably it could be a helpful (and even lucrative) product for those who enjoy the sexual practice of “pegging” (women using “strap-ons”) an activity Urban Dictionary’s contributors gleefully detail, there being many nuances in use.

Automotive Digest's Dope-Master (1948, left and 1951, right).

Annually updated, Automotive Digest for years published their "Dope Masters", containing the specifications and information (ie "all the dope") required to service or "tune up" most of the automobiles sold in the US.  They were valued by mechanics but also used by many owners, cars then being mostly mechanical devices with some wiring so servicing at home with basis tools was possible in a way unthinkable with modern machines with their high electronic and software content.  In boxing, the phrase “rope-a-dope” described a technique in which the boxer assumes a defensive stance against the ropes, absorbing an opponent's blows, hoping to exploit eventual tiredness or a mistake.  Figuratively, use can be extended to any strategy in which a seemingly losing position is maintained to “lull an opponent into a false sense of security” in the hope of securing eventual victory; in the vernacular, it’s to exhaust them by “stringing them along”.  “Dope slap” is a jocular term which describes “a light slap to the back of the head”, used as a disciplinary measure for some minor infraction (ie imposed for someone being "a bit dopey") while a more severe corporal punishment would be imposed for a more a serious offence.  “Dope glass” (a synonym of “carnival glass”) was a type of glassware dating from the early twentieth century, notable for possessing lustrous colors.  Known variously as “aurora glass”, “iridescent ware”, “Iridill” “poor man's Tiffany”, “rainbow glass” & “taffeta glass”, it was initially declared by the style police to be attractive but, cheap and mass-produced, it soon came to be used to make objects judged “not in the best taste” and, being much associated with the Great Depression years of the 1930s (it was dubbed also “depression glass”), it became unfashionable.

Hooptie

Hooptie (pronounced hoop-dee or whoop-dee (contested))

In slang, an old, worn-out car.

Circa 1960s: The slang hooptie is used to describe an old, battered car.  The origin is uncertain but it’s thought to have originated in African American urban vernacular sometime in the second half of the twentieth century.  The most common explanation is that the word is a phonetic adaptation from Coupe de Ville, a model of Cadillac produced 1949-2005 (although the factory used the syntax Coupe De Ville only from 1959; prior to that they were Cadillac DeVilles with coupe bodies).  Coupé was from the French couper (to cut), from the Old French coper & colper (to cut off), probably from cop (blow) or colp (which endures as the modern coup), with sense derived from the notion of “cutting off with a blow”.  It may correspond to a Vulgar Latin verb colpāre, a syncopated form of colaphāre (blow, cuff), from the Latin colaphus (a blow delivered by a fist).  The alternative etymology suggests a link with the Vulgar Latin cuppāre (to behead), from the Latin caput (head) although this has never received much support.  The term de ville was from the French phrase de la ville which translated literally as de (of) la (the) ville (city) and in the eighteenth & nineteenth centuries a “sedanca de ville” was a type of small, horse drawn carriage popular for use in the tight streets of cities.  The carriages featured an enclosed compartment for usually two-three passengers while the driver sat outside.  That configuration was adopted in the early coachwork of some automobiles and although production declined as fully-enclosed bodies began to prevail, the style remained on the lists of many coachbuilders until the outbreak of World War II (1939-1945).  In the post-war years there was the odd sedanca de ville which coachbuilders would build on special request by the 1970s the style was thought extinct, a feeling which Bentley’s quixotic semi-revival with the production of a few dozen Continental Sedanca Coupés (SC) in 1999 did little to dispel.  The SC was actually just an appropriation of the name and really a variation of a targa, the rear passenger compartment covered but not enclosed.

Lindsay Lohan assessing her hooptie: Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005).

There have been five alternative theories for the etymology: (1) One suggests both hoopdie & hooptie were both used in the African American community in the 1920s to describe a run-down or dilapidated house (a use perhaps derived from “hovel”) and over time the term came to be was applied to old cars in some advanced state of disrepair.  There is little support for this.  (2) It may be onomatopoeic and a reference to the tortured sounds which emanate from a defective machine in need of repairs.  There is little support for this. (3) It may be related to the phrase “hope I die”, the anthropomorphic notion being the car would sooner be crushed than continue in its dilapidated state.  There is no support for this.  (4) It may be from Hupmobile, a popular brand of car early in the twentieth century, the linguist progress being from “Hupmobile” to “hup” and finally to "hoop", the theory being the use was originally specific to neglected Hupmobiles and later generalized.  There is little support for this.  (5) Hooptie may be from the West African Wolof xub (broken down), the connection being many African Americans are descended from those brought to the US during the slave trade.  It’s thought not impossible but linguistic anthropologists seem unconvinced.  The link with the Cadillac Coupe DeVille (Cadillac followed the usual US practice and never spelled Coupé with the l'accent aigu (acute accent) on the final "e") remains most convincing because for decades, the model was a byword for automotive prestige in the US and it (and similar long cars from the era) is still used in music videos by African Americans.  The song My Hooptie by Sir Mix-a-Lot (stage name of Anthony L Ray (b 1963)) was released in 1989 and included on his album Seminar.  The alternative spellings are hooptee & hoopty.  Hooptie is a noun; the noun plural is hoopties.

Peak Cadillac Coupe DeVille is probably the 1968 model which, uniquely, combined the classic 1960s styling with the stacked headlamps with the new 472 cubic inch (7.7 litre) V8 which in the 1970s would grow to 500 cubic inches (8.2 litre) before shrinking in the post oil-shock world.  When, in 368 cubic inch (6.0 litre) form it was retired in 1984, it was the last of the old “big-block” V8s available in a passenger car.

Reflecting the etymology, the original use of coupé was to describe a horse-drawn carriage cut down to a smaller size to provide for greater speed & agility but by the time Cadillac released the Coupe de Ville in 1949, coupe had come generally to mean a two door car and DeVille was appended because it was known to be suggestive of something expensive or exclusive although presumably few were well acquainted with the literal translation.  That was probably just as well because the big Cadillacs weren’t ideal for use in densely populated and congested cities, even those of the late twentieth century US where the parking meters were further apart.  Adopting Cadillac’s usual conventions of nomenclature, the companion four-door models were called Sedan DeVille (It began in 1949 as de Ville and Cadillac published material with the spellings de Ville, De Ville & DeVille before standardizing the later) and the convertibles received no separate designation, labeled also Coupe DeVille.  Surprisingly, the two and four-door were the same length which must have helped with production-line rationalization.

My Hooptie by Sir Mix-a-Lot (Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group)

My hooptie rollin', tailpipe draggin'
Heat don't work an' my girl keeps naggin'
Six-nine Buick, deuce keeps rollin'
One hubcap 'cause three got stolen
Bumper shook loose, chrome keeps scrapin'
Mis-matched tires, and my white walls flakin'
Hit mickey-d's, Maharaji starts to bug
He ate a quarter-pounder, threw the pickles on my rug
Runnin', movin' tabs expired
Girlies tryin' to dis 'n say my car looks tired
Hit my brakes, out slid skittles
Tinted back window with a bubble in the middle
Who's car is it? Posse won't say
We all play it off when you look our way
Rollin' four deep, tires smoke up the block
Gotta roll this bucket, 'cause my Benz is in the shop
My hooptie - my hooptie
Four door nightmare, trunk locks' stuck
Big dice on the mirror, grill like a truck
Lifters tickin', accelerator's stickin'
Somethin' on my left front wheel keeps clickin'
Picked up the girlies, now we're eight deep
Cars barely movin', but now we got heat
Made a left turn as I watched in fright
My ex-girlfriend shot out my headlight
She was standin', in the road, so I smashed her toes
Mashed my pedal, boom, down she goes
Law ain't lyin', long hairs flyin'
We flipped the skeez off, dumb girl starts cryin'
Baby called the cops, now I'm gettin' nervous
The cops see a beeper and the suckers might serve us
Hit a side street and what did we find?
Some young punk, droppin' me a flip off sign
Put the deuce in reverse, and started to curse
Another sucker on the south side about to get hurt
Homey got scared, so I got on
Yeah my group got paid, but my groups still strong
Posse moved north, headin for the CD
Ridin' real fast so the cops don't see me
Mis-matched tires got my boys uptight
Two Vogues on the left, Uniroyal on the right
Hooptie bouncin', runnin' on leaded
This is what I sport when you call me big-headed
I pot-hole crusher, red light rusher
Musher of a brother 'cause I'm plowin' over suckers
In a hooptie
It's a three-ton monster, econo-box stomper
Snatch your girly, if you don't I'll romp 'er
Dinosaur rush, lookin' like Shaft
Some get bold, but some get smashed
Cops say the car smokes, but I won't listen
It's a six-nine deuce, so the hell with emissions
Rollin' in Tacoma, I could get burned
(Sound of automatic gunfire) Betta make a you-turn
Spotted this freak with immense posterior
Tryin' to roll smooth through the Hilltop area
Brother start lettin' off, kickin' that racket
Thinkin' I'm a rock star, slingin' them packets
I ain't wit' dat, so I smooth eject
Hit I-5 with the dope cassette
Playin' that tough crew hardcore dope
The tape deck broke
Damn what's next, brothers in Goretex
Tryin' to find a spot where we could hunt for sex
Found a little club called the N-see-O
Military, competition. You know.
I ain't really fazed, 'cause I pop much game
Rolled up tough, 'cause I got much fame
"How ya doin' baby, my name is Mixalot"
"Mixalot got a Benz boy, quit smokin' that rock"
Ooooh, I got dissed. But it ain't no thing
Runnin' that game with the home made slang
Baby got ished, Bremelo gip.
Keep laughin' at the car and you might get clipped
By a hooptie
Runnin' outta gas, stuck in traffic
Far left lane, throwin' up much static
Input, output, carbeurator fulla soot
"Whatcha want me to do Mix?"
Push freak, push
Sputter, sputter rollin' over gutters
Cars dip low with hard core brothers
Tank on E, pulled into Arco
Cops on tip for Columbian cargo
We fit a stereotype, that's what he said
Big long car, four big black heads
Cops keep jockin', grabbin' like 'gators
'Bout stereotypes, I'm lookin' nuthin' like Noriega
Cop took my wallet, looked at my license
His partner said "Damn, they all look like Tyson"
Yes, I'm legit, so they gotta let me go
This bucket ain't rollin' in snow
It's my hooptie

Dunce

Dunce (pronounced duhns)

(1) A dull-witted, stupid, or ignorant person; a dolt.

(2) In educational systems, a person slow to learn (obsolete).

(3) As dunce’s cap, a conical hat once used as a form of shaming and punishment in some educational systems.

1520–1530: Named after the Dunses, Dunites or Dunsmen, term of ridicule applied to the devotees of Scottish Franciscan friar, John Duns Scotus (circa 1265-1308).  The use of SCotUS as the initialism of Supreme Court of the United States is wholly coincidental; cool people anyway prefer “the supremes”.  The many synonyms of dunce include clodpoll, ass, birdbrain, blockhead, bonehead, buffoon, dimwit, dolt, donkey, dope, dork, dullard, dunderhead, fool, goof, half-wit, idiot, ignoramus, imbecile, jerk, numbskull, ignoramus, simpleton, nincompoop & ninny but dunce has a special place because of the historic association with schoolrooms and the utility of the dunce’s cap for cartoonists and, latterly meme-makers.   Dunce is a noun, duncical, duncelike & duncish are adjectives and duncishly is an adverb; the noun plural is dunces.

The first dunces

Saint Thomas Aquinas (1648), oil on canvas by Antoine Nicolas (circa 1606-1661).

The shock of the Reformation, the sixteenth century movement within Western Christianity that mounted a theological and political challenge to the Roman Catholic Church and especially papal authority seems to have colored the popular view of the era and it’s often not appreciated that early in the century, both Church and papacy were in good shape and enjoyed popular support.  Far from being a rigid, unchanging institution, the Medieval Church was inventive and energetic and while it couldn’t be said to be tolerant of dissent, it certainly welcomed regional diversity and after the end of the papal schism (between 1378-1417 popes in France and Italy both asserted their authority over the Church) and the centralization of the institution in Rome, things really were looking good.  It was in this atmosphere that the Church played a part in the great cultural movement which began in Europe in the fifteenth century: The Renaissance (rebirth).

Print by Valentine Green following Peter Paul Rubens (1577–1640) and reputedly inspired by William of Ockham.

The Renaissance re-energized fields as diverse as literature, history, linguistics, mathematics, art, political theory and architecture.  One far-reaching effect (which would take centuries to unfold) was the re-discovery of the works and histories of the Greco-Roman world of antiquity, pursued with a method which resonates still in the modern academic method: Ad fontes (back to the sources).  Those sources (Galen, Cicero, Seneca, Plato et al), transformed study in western Europe, something made possible largely because of the wealth of documents arrived from the libraries, monasteries and palaces of the Byzantine Empire after Constantinople fell to Islamic conquest in 1453.  The scholars and scribes who immersed themselves in these texts came to be known as “the humanists” (from studia humanitatis (the classic curriculum of the academy and related not at all to the modern use of humanist to describe the particularly chauvinistic sect within secular, western intellectual life)).  What the Renaissance humanists did however was uncover the Greek texts of the original Bible and detected in them words a phrases which imparted meanings with theological implications at variance with what had come to be regarded as orthodoxy, based on the Vulgate, translation in Latin of the Bible dating from the late fourth century.

John Duns Scotus (circa 1475), oil on panel by Justus van Gent (1460-1480) & Pedro Berruguete (1450-1504).

The differences imparted by those variations were essentially about whether an individual’s relationships with Christ and God required only that they followed what was written in scripture or whether it depended on the institution of the Church, its ritual, its rules, its priests and of course its taxes and its pope.  In that debate lies the root of so many of the disputes which exist in Christianity still and, interestingly, are not dissimilar to the core of the theological dispute between the Sunni and Shi'a in Islam.  What the humanists did was lay siege to the old dominance in theology of the “scholastics”, themselves divided by an intellectual schism between the via antiqua (the old way) school and the via moderna (the new way), something which must seem familiar to anyone who has cast a glance at the squabbles which have disfigured the Lambeth Conferences since 1968.  Those who thought the old ways were still the best traced their lineage from Italian Dominican friar Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) & Scottish Franciscan friar John Duns Scotus (1265-1308) while the modernists were inspired by English Franciscan friar William of Ockham (circa 1287-1347; he of "Ockham's razor").  It was the still influential Aquinas who in Summa Theologica (1265–1274) created what came to called the “medieval synthesis of faith and reason”, a reconciliation of the teachings of Aristotle (384-322 BC) with scripture and for that he was canonized.  Ockham dismantled the great synthesis and the Church condemned him as a heretic, excommunicating and exiling him although, in an example of having two theological bob each way, never declared his work a heresy.

Those of the via moderna faction however wanted more than ever for the synthesis to be realized but wanted it based on the understanding of scripture (and thus the word of Christ) that their study of the documents from Constantinople had revealed.  Those tied to the old ways of Aquinis and John Duns Scotus (who had for some time been derisively dismissed as the “Dunses”, “Dunites” or “Dunsmen”) they decided deserved the collective “dunce”, those well-schooled and expert in orthodox philosophy but wholly ignorant of the authentic message of Christianity.

Intelligence is famously difficult to measure and even standardized intelligence tests, while they can provide a comparative index of performance of the sub-set taking the test, ultimately measure only a proficiency in answering certain question at a certain time, in a certain place and even then need to be understood in terms of the bias selection in both content and participation.  Based on conventional measures however, the consensus view probably would hold George W Bush (b 1946; US president 2001-2009) was (1) of somewhere above average intelligence and (2) one of the less intelligent US presidents.  However, his halting delivery (except in informal settings), deliciously mangled syntax and frequent malapropisms certainly made him appear a bit of a dunce and he was a gift to the meme-makers in the early days of the form.  The one from 2002 showing him in an elementary school, holding a book upside down circulated widely but was a fake as analysis of some of the detail revealed; book and dunce’s cap both photoshopped.  The book was America: A Patriotic Primer, by Dr Lynne Cheney (b 1941), wife of Dick Cheney (b 1941; US vice-president 2001-2009).  The first evidence of the dunce’s cap seems to date from the early eighteenth century although the earliest known use of the term appears to be 1791 and by the middle of the next century it was used in English literature and appeared in the work of cartoonists.  Actually used in many educational systems as a device both to assist pedagogy and inflict punishment, they had substantially been abandoned by the 1960s but in some of the more remote regions of the British Isles, dunce’s caps were said still to be in use early in the twenty-first century.