Parmesan

Parmesan (pronounced pahr-muh-zahn, pahr-muh-zan, pahr-muh-zuhn; pahr-muh-zahn, or pahr-muh-zan).

(1) Of or from Parma, in northern Italy.

(2) A hard, dry variety of Italian cheese made from skim milk, often grated and sprinkled over pasta dishes and soups.  It’s known also as Parmesan cheese and it appears with and without the initial capital.

(3) By extension, a similar cheese produced in places other than Parma.

(4) In slang, money in the sense of physical cash.

1510–1520: From the Middle French parmesan, from the Italian parmigiano (of Parma; pertaining to Parma), from an earlier Vulgar Latin parmēsānus, a restructuring of the Classical Latin parmēnsis (from Parma).  Parma is a province of Italy’s Emilia-Romagna region, the locality name thought to be of Etruscan origin.  In the Romance languages the related forms include the Italian parmigiano, the Catalan parmesà, the Portuguese parmesão, the Sicilian parmisanu and the Spanish parmesano.  Parmesan is a noun and parmesany & parmeasnlike (also as parmesan-like) is an adjective; the noun plural is parmesans.  An initial capital is always used with the proper noun (except sometimes in advertizing).

The real parmesan: Parmigiano Reggiano, cut from a wheel.

Within the European Union (EU), the cheese called Parmigiano Reggiano has been granted legal protection (a la hermitage, champagne, cognac etc) as a protected designation of origin (PDO) although around the world, “parmesan” is widely used as a generic term for similar cheeses.  The PDO cheese Parmigiano Reggiano, made only from cow’s milk and salt, is produced in “wheels” which take at least two years to mature, each wheel sealed with a unique identity tag recording the dairy farm and the month in which it was laid down to “cure”.  It may be apocryphal but industry folklore is that when food critics and chefs were asked in a survey which they would choose if ordered to live in a world with only one cheese, most answered: Parmigiano Reggiano.  Eating cheese can be part of a healthy diet, but it depends on the type and amount consumed.   Cheese is a good source of protein, is rich in calcium and contains vitamins such as B12 and A but it tends also to be high in saturated fat, is calorie-dense and usually has a high sodium (salt) content.  One noted advantage of parmesan is it’s naturally low in lactose, making it easier to digest for people with lactose intolerance.

Wheels

Italian artistic gymnast Signorina Giorgia Villa with wheels of cheese, Parmigiano Reggiano promotional photo-shoot, 2022.

Many consumers buy their parmesan in pre-grated packs or in a powered form so may not have been aware it is, in its original form, a wheel.  That was until the publication of a set of photographs of Signorina Giorgia Villa (b 2003), an Italian artistic gymnast and member of her country’s team at the 2024 Paris Olympics.  Signorina Villa is a brand ambassador for Parmigiano Reggiano and the images from her 2022 photo-shoot featured her posing with the now famous wheels, the promotion’s original caption being: “Always together with my best friend @parmigianoreggiano, ready to start again and face new challenges!”

Wheels of cheese in cheese storehouse.

Wheels of cheese can weigh more than 40 kg (90 lb) and during the maturation process they are stored in warehouses, usually on shelves.  In August 2023, Giacomo Chiapparini, (1949-2023) from Romano di Lombardia, was killed when a shelf broke in his cheese store, the falling wheels of cheese crushing him.  According to the police report, the event was triggered by a single point of failure in a high shelf and the weight of the dislodged wheels created a “domino effect”, bringing down thousands of wheels on the unfortunate victim.  A spokesman for the Lombardy Fire Department which attended the scene reported emergency staff “had to move the wheels of cheese and the shelves by hand”, adding it “took about twelve hours” to find the deceased.  The wheels were of grana padano, a hard cheese that resembles parmesan, some 25,000 of which were in storage and Signor Chiapparini had been checking on the ripening wheels, the highest of which sat on metal shelves 10 metres (33 feet) tall.

The flaccid cheese wheel in surrealist art: La persistència de la memòria (The Persistence of Memory) is Salvador Dalí’s (1904-1989) most reproduced and best-known painting.   Completed in 1931 and first exhibited in 1932, since 1934 it hangs in New York’s Museum of Modern Art (MoMA).  In popular culture, the work is often referred to as the more evocative “melting clocks”.

Surrealism’s intellectual undercoating was patchy, some of the latter output being openly imitative but with Dalí, critics seemed often ready to find something.  His "theory of softness and hardness" has been called "central to his artistic thinking" at the time The Persistence of Memory was painted and some suggested the flaccidity of the watches is an allusion to Einstein's theory of special relativity, a surreal pondering of the implications of relativity on our once-fixed notions of time and space.  Dalí was earthier, claiming the clocks were inspired not by Einstein but by imagining a wheel of camembert cheese melting in the Catalan sun.

Lindsay Lohan in Miami, Florida, clothes by Amiparism (AMI), Interview magazine photo-shoot, December 2022.  

The car is a Jaguar XJS convertible with the factory-fitted BBS basketweave (or lattice) wheels.  The BBS wheels appealed on the XJS (1975-1996 and originally XJ-S) when the last version was released in 1991, sometime after the company had been absorbed by the Ford Motor Company (FoMoCo).  There were a number of detail changes for the final run, the most notable being the enlargement in 1992 of the V12 engine from 5.3 litres (326 cubic inches) to 6.0 (366), coupled with the latest (four-speed) version of the General Motors (GM) Turbo-Hydramatic 400 which, (as a three-speed), dated from 1963.  No XJ-S with a manual transmission was built after 1976 and the 352 produced existed only because Jaguar had some 400 in their warehouse which had been intended for the Series 3 E-Types (XKE, 1971-1974).

Remarkably for a brand which has a reputation for quality and expertise in design as well as an enviable record in top-line competition, Germany’s BBS Autotechnik GmbH in July 2024 declared insolvency, the second time this has been done in the last year and the fifth time since 2007.  To borrow a phrase, one bankruptcy is unfortunate; five in the last 17 years suggests carelessness.  Analysts have suggested a number of factors have contributed to the troubled corporate history and some did note the recent practice of BBS being passed between private equity firms shouldn’t be ignored (apparently private equity firms have techniques which make bankruptcies profitable) but there were also questionable marketing practices.  What has long puzzled the supply chain is that despite BBS having one of the industry’s most desirable back-catalogs with many older designs enjoying a resurgence of popularity, that market is being supplied by other manufacturers blatantly copying the BBS originals which the company has made no attempt to re-introduce.  There was also the curious matter of “BBS Unlimited”, one of engineering’s weirdest niches: a design of a single wheel which can be fitted to a variety of cars, all wheels shipped with a 5×117.5 mm bolt pattern that nothing of the planet uses, necessitating the fitting of a special BBS adapter.  Rarely has a non-existent problem been so cleverly fixed.  The BBS name has such a cachet that analysts expect the German operation to survive in some form (BBS in the US & Japan are unaffected by what’s happening in Europe) and the suspicion is the current problems are likely linked to the rising interest rates which have seen a number of leveraged buy-outs by private equity firms flounder: in the same week BBS’s predicament was announced, the seat maker Recaro also entered bankruptcy.

Philip Ruddock Water Playground, Dundas Park, Dundas Valley, NSW, Australia.  Politicians are remembered for many things.

Ever since a former Australian minister for immigration (the Liberal Party’s Philip Ruddock (b 1943; Minister for Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs 1996-2003) asserted that the country's indigenous peoples “didn’t invent the wheel”, it’s been repeated as a racist trope in far-right (a misleading term but the one in popular use) gatherings and their social medial channels, often with the claim indigenous Australians were the only culture on Earth not to invent (or discover) what is humanity’s simplest machine and the one which underpinned or made possible progress in a number of fields.  However, a number of cultures did not independently develop the wheel including several in Sub-Saharan Africa, a number of the Pacific Islands and those living in the pre-Columbian Americas (although in the latter wheels were used in toys, just not for transportation or tasks such as lifting).  Anthropologists suggest that cultures which didn’t develop the wheel usually had no need for such a device, lacked the large domesticated animals needed to pull wheeled vehicles or lived in an environment which made the use of wheeled carts or trolleys impractical (dense forests, mountainous terrain etc).

Thermidor

Thermidor (pronounced thur-mi-dawr or ter-mee-dawr (French))

(1) In the French Revolutionary calendar, the eleventh month of the year (19 (or 20) July to 17 (or 18) August); it was also called Fervidor (both terms now only of historic interest).

(2) As Thermidorian Reaction, a counterrevolution or coup d'état in some way recalling the events in Paris in July 1794.

(3) As lobster thermidor (both elements sometimes capitalized), a method of preparing the unfortunate crustacean for consumption.

Borrowed from French thermidor, from the Ancient Greek θέρμη (thérmē) (hot; heat) + δῶρον (dôron) (gift), the construct thus construct being thérm(ē) + (i) + dôr(on).  Thermidor is a noun & proper noun, thermion is a noun, thermidorien & thermidorian are nouns & adjective and thermionic is an adjective; the noun plural is thermidors.

In the history of revolutionary France, the noun thermidorian is used to refer to (1) a member of the politically moderate (a relative term) group who participated in the events of the 9th Thermidor (27 July 1794) and (2) a supporter of the reactionary movement following the coup d'état.  The use in political discourse was named after the play Thermidor (1891) by Victorien Sardou (1831–1908), itself named for the eleventh month of the French Republican Calendar.  The Coup d'état of 9 Thermidor (remembered in many reports as “the Fall of Maximilien Robespierre” (1758–1794)) was triggered by Robespierre's address to the National Convention on 26 July 1794), a speech which prompted his arrest the next day and his death on the guillotine the day after.  Due process is a quick business in revolutionary times.  Robespierre’s fateful words included a reference to “internal enemies, conspirators, and calumniators” within revolutionary movement but he declined to name names, giving rise among his colleagues to fears he was plotting another great purge of their numbers.

Comrade Stalin (left), an ice axe (centre) and comrade Trotsky (right).

Comrade Leon Trotsky (1879-1940; founder of the Fourth International) in The Revolution Betrayed: What Is the Soviet Union and Where Is It Going? (1936) had a feeling for the political phrase and labelled the state created by comrade Joseph Stalin (1878-1953; Soviet leader 1924-1953) a “Soviet Thermidor” because although Tsarist era capitalism wasn’t re-created (a la the monarchy in France not being restored in the 1790s), the combination of a bureaucracy supporting a personality cult (even if the latter was in 1936 still somewhat disguised) was “a counterrevolutionary regression” which betrayed what was achieved by comrade Vladimir Lenin (1870–1924; head of government of Russia or Soviet Union 1917-1924) between 1917-1924.  The phrase caught the imagination of many, notably those in the Partido Obrero de Unificación Marxista (The POUM, the Workers' Party of Marxist Unification), a non-communist Marxist party (a surprisingly populated fork of left-wing thought) which comrade Stalin correctly associated with Trotskyism.  The POUM was highly productive in thought but drifted increasingly far from the moorings of political reality although rhetoric which included polemics like “Stalinist Thermidorians have established in Russia the bureaucratic regime of a poisoned dictator.”  Agents of the Narodný komissariat vnutrennih del (NKVD, The People's Commissariat for Internal Affairs and one of the many predecessors to the KGB), answerable only to comrade Stalin, killed dozens of POUM’s Central Committee which ended the organization’s effectiveness for a generation.  Comrade Stalin filed away in his memory annoying phrases and in 1940 he had comrade Trotsky murdered in Mexico.  The murder weapon was an ice-axe.

Lobster Thermidor

Lobster Thermidor is a creamy, cheesy mixture of cooked lobster meat, egg yolks, and cognac or sherry, stuffed into a lobster shell and served usually with a an oven-browned cheese crust.  In restaurants, it’s an expensive dish because lobsters are now high-priced (there was a time when they were eaten almost only by the working class) but especially because it’s something with a high labor component.  Cooked at home, without the need to charge out labor, it’s a form of extravagance on a budget and it’s a favorite among the dinner party set and the ideal thing to serve as a prelude to discussions about house prices.

Ingredients

2 lobsters
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons minced shallots
½ teaspoon minced garlic
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons cognac or brandy
¾ cup milk
¼ cup heavy cream
¾ teaspoon sea salt
¼ teaspoon ground white pepper
½ cup finely grated Parmesan, plus 2 tablespoons
1 tablespoon dry mustard powder
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh tarragon leaves
2 teaspoons finely chopped parsley, plus additional for garnish
¼ cup shredded gruyere cheese

Lobster Thermidor is a signature dish at Texas-based Prime Steak & Seafood and their web-site includes photographs to encourage bookings.

Instructions (cooking lobster)

(1) Fill a large, deep stock pot with about 3-4 inches (75-100 mm) of water and add enough sea-salt to make it as salty as sea-water.  Some add aromatics like herbs or lemon to enhance the flavor but thermidor purists insist thing shouldn’t be done and that all such work must be done by the sauce.  Only ever cook live lobsters.  If this is not practical, pre-cooked lobsters are available.

 (2) Once the water has been brought to the boil, add the lobsters (head first) to the pot.  Steaming is the best way to cook lobster because the meat becomes less waterlogged and less flavor in lost to the liquid.

(3) Cover tightly and steam lobsters for 8 minutes per pound (.454 kg), for the first pound and then an additional 3 minutes per pound.  Thus, if the total weight being cooked is 2 lb, cooking time will be about 10 minutes.

(4) Using tongs, remove lobsters from the pot and check to ensure they are cooked.  A fully cooked lobster will register 135-140˚F (57-60˚C) when a quick-read thermometer is inserted into the thickest part of the tail (always insert device into the tail’s underside).

Instructions (lobster thermidor)

(5) Preheat oven to 375˚F (190˚C).

(6) Line a baking sheet with aluminium foil and set aside.

(7) Cut lobsters in half (length-wise and a sharp blade will be needed) and remove the tail meat.

(8) Gently twist claws from the body and gently crack with the back of a heavy knife to remove the meat.  Gently pull the front legs from the shell and discard (some retain them for decorative purposes.

(9) Chop the tail meat and claw meat into bite sized pieces and set aside.

(10) Place the halved lobster shells on the baking sheet and set aside.

(11) Melt butter in a deep skillet over medium heat.  Add shallots and garlic, stirring, until fragrant (about 30 seconds).  Add the flour and whisk to combine.

(12) Cook the flour mixture, stirring constantly to make a light roux (approximately 2 minutes).

(13) Add cognac and cook for 10 seconds, stirring constantly.

(14) Slowly add milk, stirring constantly until combined.  Bring to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer until thick enough to coat the back of a spoon (approximately 2-3 minutes).

(15) Slowly add cream, stirring constantly, until thoroughly combined.  Continue cooking while stirring over medium heat for 1 minute (done correctly, this will have produced a very thick mix.  Season with salt and pepper.

(16) Remove from heat and stir in the parmesan cheese, mustard, tarragon, and parsley.  Fold in the lobster meat.

(17) Divide the mixture among the lobster shells and place stuffed side up on a clean baking sheet.

(18) Sprinkle the top of each lobster with the gruyere and broil until the top is golden brown (should take 5-6 minutes).

(19) Place 1 lobster half on each plate, garnish with additional parsley, and serve immediately.

Lindsay Lohan rescues a lobster from the ice, saving it from becoming lobster thermidor (the crustacean’s ultimate fate is unknown).  Lohan Beach Club, 2019.

Mint

Mint (pronounced mint)

(1) Any aromatic herb of the genus genus Mentha (family Lamiaceae (labiates)), having opposite, aromatic leaves and spikes of small, typically mauve, whorled flowers.  The leaves of some species are used for seasoning and flavoring (peppermint, spearmint, horsemint, water mint. mint sauce etc).

(2) A soft or hard confection or candy flavored with spearmint or peppermint.

(3) A shade of green, classically a light hue with a cool, bluish undertone but many commercial products so-named are quite vivid.

(4) Something made or flavored with mint.

(5) Of or pertaining to the color mint.

(6) To make (coins, medals etc.) by stamping metal; to turn (metal) into coins.

(7) In crypto-currencies, to create a crypto token.

(8) A place where coins and special medals (and in some places paper currency) etc are, now always under government authority if the production of legal tender is involved.

(9) A place where something is produced or manufactured.

(10) In slang, to make, fabricate or invent (including weightless items such as words).

(11) In slang (as “a mint”, “made a mint” etc), a vast amount, especially of money.

(12) In slang, excellent; impressive (mostly northern England)

(13) In slang, attractive; beautiful; handsome (most of the English Speaking world except North America).

(14) In philately (of a stamp) and numismatics (of currency), being in its original, unused condition (use now extended to (1) any item in such condition and (2) an item which has been restored or renovated to a state where it can be described as “as new” (ie appearing to be newly made and never used, even if once dilapidated)).

(15) Intent; purpose; an attempt; try; effort (mostly northern England & Scotland).

(16) To take aim at with a firearm (rare and mostly northern England & Scotland).

(17) To hit or strike at someone or something (rare).

Pre 900: From the Middle English mynt & münet (money, coin), from the Old English mynet (coin, coinage, money), from the late Proto-West Germanic munit, from the Latin monēta (place for making coins, coined money) and named after the temple of Juno Monēta (named for Monēta,mother of the Muses), the mint where Roman money was coined.  A doublet of money and manat, the verb was from the noun; the Old English mynetian (to mint) was a parallel formation.  The use to describe “mean, intent, aim etc” was also pre 900 and was from the Middle English verb minten, munten & munte (to intend, plan, think of), from the Old English myntan & gemyntan (to mean, intend, purpose, determine, resolve), the noun a derivative of the verb, from the Proto-West Germanic muntijan (to think, consider), from the primitive Indo-European men- & mnā- (to think),  It was cognate with the Saterland Frisian mintsje & muntsje (to aim, target), the Dutch munten (to aim at, target), the German Low German münten (to aim at), the German münzen (to aim at), the Dutch monter (cheerful, gladsome, spry), the Gothic muns, (thought, opinion) and the Old English munan (to be mindful of, consider, intend).  The use in botany may have been earlier but certainly was in use by the tenth century.  It was from the Middle English mynte, from the eighth century Old English minte (the mint plant), from the Proto-West Germanic mintā (leaf of the mint) (source also of Old Saxon minta, the Middle Dutch mente, the Old High German minza and the German Minze), from the Latin mentha & menta of uncertain origin but probably from a lost Mediterranean language via either the Ancient Greek μίνθη (mínthē) & μίνθα (míntha) or directly.  It was akin to the Old Norse minta (mint) and the Old High German minza.  In Greek mythology, minthē was personified as a nymph transformed into an herb by Proserpine.

Lindsay Lohan with mint hair (digitally altered image).

The general sense of “a vast sum of money” was in use by the 1650s and the term “mint-mark” (mark placed upon a coin to indicate the mint where it was struck) was formalized in 1797.  The verb in the sense of “to stamp metal to make coins” dates from the 1540s and was developed from the noun; minting soon followed.  In the Old English, the agent noun was mynetere which became the twelfth century Middle English minter (one who stamps coins to create money; place where coins are stamped), from the Late Latin monetarius.  The adjective minty (full of or tasting of mint) was documented since 1867 (mintesque seems never to have been coined) while the related noun mintiness was first noted in the 1920s.  Mint is a noun, verb & adjective; minting is a noun & verb, minted is a verb & adjective and minty is an adjective, the noun plural is mints.

Minties: 54.3% sugar and inclined to extract fillings, they are income generators for dentists.

Introduced in Australia in 1922, the Mintie is a mint-flavored confectionery which is hard, white, chewy and prone while chewing to enter such a state of stickiness that it's not unusual for dental fillings to be dislodged.  Despite this, essentially unchanged, they've been popular in Australia and New Zealand for over a century, some half a billion are sold annually and they're available in many outlets around the world.  In some places they have a cult following and in London there's a shop which offers a text-messaging service to advise customers when the sticky treat is again in stock, the Mintie addicts apparently not only homesick colonials.  The company's It's moments like these you need Minites advertising campaign in the 1920s was responsible for a catch-phrase entering the local vernacular, the truncated “It's moments like these” still heard when something unfortunate has happened.

In September 2023, Rupert Murdoch (b 1931) announced he was standing down from executive roles within the News organization to become Chairman Emeritus.  It came as a surprise because many had assumed he’d intended to die “in the saddle” and after all, he is 92 so people needed just to be patient.  But he (sort of) retired instead and that triggered the inevitable speculation about hidden agendas and ulterior motives, the things which for decades have been attributed to Mr Murdoch’s every action.  It’ll be interesting to watch the dynamics this unleashes in the Murdoch family but it may be that now he’s again single, Mr Murdoch just wants more time for dating.  One almost immediate impact of his (at least symbolic) departure was a lapse in journalist standards within the corporation, a piece run on the news.com.au website including a mistake which once would never have got past a sub-editor.  The story was about a US$10,000 bill “minted” during the 1930s.

News.com.au, 26 September 2023.

In the US, dollar bills are not “minted”, they are “printed”, the US Bureau of Engraving and Printing responsible for the production of paper currency while coins are produced by the United States Mint.  The $10,000 bill in question was rated as “mint condition” by the authoritative Paper Money Guarantee (PMG), a third-party operation which assesses and certifies paper money and sold for US$480,000 at the Long Beach Expo currency auction in Dallas, Texas, a record for the type.  The high-value US bills are now quite a novelty, the Treasury in 1969 purging from the system all “large value bills” (ie anything above US$100) and while even then $500 & $1000 bills were still in circulation, the older issues (up to $10,000) had vanished from general use and were restricted to institutional and inter-departmental purposes.

Mint fan Lindsay Lohan with Prada Mint Satchel Tote Bag (May 2012, left), in mint green dress (February 2012, centre) and mint green bathing suit (July 2017, right).

Mintbacks: During the 1930s, there was even a US$100,000 bill but it was technically a “Treasury Gold Certificate” which never entered circulation, use restricted to transactions between branches of the Federal Reserve.  It’s interesting to speculate what a $100,000 Treasury Gold Certificate in mint condition would achieve at auction.  It would obviously have a value to numismatists because of the historical significance and collectors would be drawn to such a rarity but these certificates have not been redeemable for gold (or indeed US$) since Richard Nixon (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974) abandoned the gold standard in 1971.

Clockwise from top left: 1971 Holden Monaro GTS 350, 1970 Plymouth ‘Cuda 440-6, 1972 Ford Falcon XA GT, 1973 Triumph Stag, 1970 Plymouth Road Runner Superbird and 1971 Chrysler Valiant Charger R/T E38.

The combination of advances in manufacturing techniques and the psychedelic vibe of the late 1960s inspired manufacturers to offer some lurid shades.  It was the first time since the 1920s that purple gained some popularity but bright greens were also fashionable and in marketing departments, imaginations were allowed to wander as names were conjured.  It probably never was true that weed and acid were much involved in the process but the names certainly read as if they were and they included: Plum Crazy, In-Violet, Tor Red, Sassy Grass, Panther Pink, Sub Lime, Lime Light, Moulin Rouge, Top Banana, Lemon Twist & Citron Yella.  Although it may be an industry myth, the story told is that Plum Crazy & In-Violet (vivid shades of purple) were late additions because the killjoy board refused to sign-off on Statutory Grape.  Some of the colors used in the US were too bright to be called “mint” and the ones which were closer didn’t adopt the description but in Australia, Holden had what most would consider a “lime” green but they anyway called it “Lina Mint”, a name apparently just too good to resist.  After 1973, the bright colors vanished from the color charts for some 25 years because the use of lead in paint was banned and it wasn’t until the twenty-first century alternatives were produced at viable cost.

The Mint Julep

Mint Julep served in Julip Tin.

Famously associated with the Kentucky Derby which is one leg of the racing’s Triple Crown, the origins of the mint julep lie in ancient Persia where it was a non-alcoholic drink made with rosewater.  Julep was from the Middle English, from the Old French julep, from the Medieval Latin julapium (via the Arabic جُلَاب‎ (julāb)), from the Persian گلاب‎ (golâb) (rosewater), the construct being گل‎ (rose) + آب‎ (water).  The refreshing drink was one of the many cultural exports from the Orient which reached Europe in the seventeenth century and from there it travelled across the Atlantic where, gradually, it evolved into something alcoholic.  Like other such concoctions in post-colonial America, the julep for some time straddled the gray area of respectability between sometimes dubious medicinal preparations and party drinks and it wasn’t until the commercial ice trade expanded early in the nineteenth century it became really popular.  Now most associated with whiskey, the early recipes in the US all suggested using French brandy or cognac but as the great national switch to whiskey gained momentum in the later 1800s, the mint julep in its familiar modern form became the standard.

Ingredients

65ml bourbon
10 mint leaves
12.5ml of 2:1 sugar syrup
A big sprig of mint

Method

Prepare the 2:1 sugar syrup by dissolving 1 cup of sugar in ½ cup of water over a low heat.  Leave to cool, and then store in a bottle with a suitable pouring neck.  This will make about 1 cup of sugar syrup.  Use either a highball or julep tin and keep them under refrigeration for long enough for them to be ice-cold.  A mint julep must be served really cold.

Shake the ingredients with ice and strain into a highball glass or julep tin filled with crushed ice. Churn gently with a long-handled spoon and top with more crushed ice.  Because the scent of mint is the julep’s signature, give the mint garnish a couple of sharp claps between your palms before tucking it into the glass; this will release the aromatic oils.  Some experiment with different types of mint (apple mint, chocolate mint, spearmint et al) while other insist on sticking to the classics.  A straw is essential and the ideal ones to use are stainless steel because (1) they better maintain the temperature and (2) will last decades and reduce plastic waste.

Cologne

Cologne (pronounced kuh-lohn)

(1) A Rhine River port and the largest city in the western German state of North Rhine-Westphalia (NRW), commercially significant since ancient times.  The German name is Köln (formerly Cöln).

(2) A mildly perfumed toilet water originally the short form of eau de Cologne (Cologne water), made in Cologne since 1709.

(3) A general term for a perfumed liquid or solid made typically with 2-5% fragrant essential oils and 70-95% water & alcohol.

1709 (for the scent).  A short form of eau de Cologne (Cologne water), the name given to the original product in 1709 and such was the success of the original that imitators were soon legion and the product name (usually as bottled liquids) was by the mid-century generic.  The concoction was first brewed by Italian-born perfumier Giovanni Maria Farina (1685-1766) whose contribution to civility was by in 1844 noted in a dictionary as “a distilled spirit blended with certain essential oils so as to give off a fragrant scent”.  Founded in 38 BC as Oppidum Ubiorum, the city was renamed and made a colony in 50 AD at the request of the Emperor Claudius's (10 BC–54 AD; Roman emperor 41-54 AD) wife Agrippina the Younger (15-59 AD), becoming Colōnia Agrippīna (Agrippine Colony) in honor of his mother-in-law.  Colōnia (colony) was from colōnus (farmer; colonist), from colō (till, cultivate, worship), from quelō, from the primitive Indo-European kel (to move; to turn (around)).  From this came the French word for the city (Cologne) which seems to have been in general use in English by the early-mid eighteenth century.  Some historians Agrippina the Younger poisoned Claudius and if so, that suggests, at least, ingratitude.  By 450 AD, the name had been shortened to Colonia before eventually being Germanized, first as Cöln and later Köln.  Cologne & Cologner are proper nouns & nouns and cologned is an adjective; the noun plural is colognes.

The distinction between cologne and perfume is probably well-understood although there is some imprecision in use, the main differences being the in the concentration of fragrant oils and the intended use.  Cologne, typically contains a lower concentration of oils (usually 2-5%) which results in something lighter and less intense than other scents (most of which are now called perfume (also as Parfum or Extrait de Parfum) in which the concentration ranges most often between 15-40%.  Cologne can thus be fashioned as something subtle and refreshing and ideal for everyday wear although it’s generally not as long-lasting as perfume.  Perfumes are more intense (especially as concentrates) and can be long-lasting, their effect lingering even for hours.  As a general principle, cologne is used in greater volume although a number of perfumes are available as sprays and applied about as liberally whereas the classic concentrates should be daubed onto pulse points such as the wrists, neck and behind the ears.  Historically, cologne was thought of as something worn by men (often as a form of deodorant) rather than women but the products are now less gender-specific.

CColognes have long been marketed to women: Max Factor’s Primitif (1957 left) was explicitly labeled as cologne.  In the twenty-first century, fcuk’s friction (for him) and her (for her) were colognes but described in the marketing material as Eau De Toilette.  The fcuk advertising copy which accompanied the Lindsay Lohan campaign read: "an ultra feminine mix of hypnotic fruity florals and tantalizingly seductive vanilla that penetrate the senses.  its velvety coconut and sensual warmth will keep him coming back for more." (Original syntax in the fcuk style as printed)

Perhaps surprisingly, the European Union (EU) seems never to have sought to impose restrictions on the use of the term “cologne” in the same way they’ve successfully protected geographical indications (GI) like Cognac, Champagne, Parma Ham et al.  Geographical indications (GIs) are protected under EU law to prevent misuse and imitation of traditional products with a specific geographical origin (especially if traditional methods of production are involved).  The rationale is that protection helps maintain the quality and reputation of these products and supports the local communities involved in their production and the EU does not seek to prevent winemakers anywhere making champagne (anyone free to adopt méthode champenoise); they insist only it can’t be marketed as “Champagne”.  Cologne has never been afforded this protection because of the long history of use, both in Europe and around the world.  It long ago became generic.

Cologne Capris leading and following a BMW CSL “Batmobile”, European Touring Car Championship, Salzburgring, 1974.

The Ford “Cologne Capris” used to contest European touring car racing in the 1970s were so named because while Ford of England focused on the international rally championships, the Cologne-based arm of Ford Europe prepared the cars for use on the circuits.  The first version was a fairly modest (by later standards) modification of the RS 2600 which used a 2.6 litre (158 cubic inch) version of the German built V6 which over time was gradually increased in capacity to take advantage of the three litre (183 cubic inch) class limit.  With exotic cylinder heads and a rear suspension which somehow complied with the letter of the law while obviously being a clause passing through a loophole, it was at once successful but Ford’s spies were aware BMW was preparing one of the era’s great homologation specials, the be-winged 3.0 CSL which, powerful and significantly lightened, so gained the nickname “Batmobile”.

Cologne Capris and BMW CSL “Batmobiles”, European Touring Car Championship, Nürburgring, 1974.

The lawyers at in Munich proved as adept as those in Cologne at reading the rulebook and increased the production CSL’s engine displacement to just over three litres, permitting a larger capacity version to be used in competition and the factory produced a 3.5 litre version of the straight-six for the track.  Ford’s answer was a run of 3.1 litre (189 cubic inch) V6 Capris as road cars which meant a 3.4 litre (207 cubic inch) version could be built for competition.  Based this time on the English “Essex” V6, to meet the BMW threat it was fitted with double overhead camshaft (DOHC) heads with four valves per cylinder, a configuration BMW would soon match.  The competition between the Cologne Capris and the Batmobiles was much anticipated as all the ingredients for a stellar season were in place but unfortunately the contests were rare because the Oil Crisis of 1973-1974 meant both Ford and BMW scaled down their competition departments and Ford in late 1974 cancelled the entire programme, the Batmobiles, now with less opposition, continuing to enjoy success on both sides of the Atlantic for several more seasons.

Cognac

Cognac (pronounced kohn-yak, or kaw-nyak (French))

(1) The brandy distilled in and shipped from the legally delimited area surrounding the town of Cognac, in western-central France (often with initial capital letters).

(2) Any French brandy (now technically incorrect since passage of various laws and WTO rules).

(3) Any expensive brandy (also incorrect).

(4) A town in south-west France famed for the brandy distilled from grapes grown in the region.

(5) A descriptor used for a range of brown shades from earthy to reddish-brown.

1585-1595: Borrowed from French Coniacke, (wine produced in Cognac region of western France), cognac’s origin was as a distilling of an otherwise unsaleable white wine.  The term Cognac brandy was in use as early as the 1680s and the sense of it being “a superior brandy” dates from 1755.  The city's name is from Medieval Latin Comniacum, from the personal name Cominius + the Gallo-Roman suffix -acum (from -aceus (indicating a resemblance). Cominius is an old Italic family name.

James Suckling 100 points crystal cognac glass from Lalique.

Although the traditional balloon glass was long associated with brandy and cognac, the distillers now advise the best choice is actually a “tulip” glass because it permits the aromas better to waft to the nose.  That's the most important part in enjoying Cognac; it's not so much drunk as breathed in, consumed mostly by a mere moistening of the lips while slowly but deeply inhaling; a nip of cognac can last a long time.  Enjoyed thus, it really should be taken neat.  

Named after the town of Cognac, France and known within the trade also as eau de vie, cognac is a brandy produced in any of the designated growing regions approved by the Bureau National Interprofessionnel du Cognac (BNIC).  In a pleasing irony, it’s distilled from an extremely dry, thin and acidic white wine thought undrinkable and unsuitable even for cooking yet which is ideal for distilling.  Grand Marnier, the cognac-based liqueur, from the French grand (great) + Marnier-Lapostolle (name of the manufacturer) was first sold in 1901.

Although the BNIC is the body which writes the rules and controls production, the industry is regulated under the French Appellation d'origine contrôlée which codifies all regulations including the naming requirements.  One linguistic curiosities of the quintessentially French business of cognac business is the official grades (XO, VSOP etc) are in English because they were standardised in the eighteenth century when the trade was dominated by the British, even before Pax Britannia’s control of the sea lanes.  The BNIC’s categories are:

VS (Very Special), denoted usually by the three stars (☆☆☆) on the label, VS designates a blend in which the youngest brandy has been cask-aged for a minimum of two years.

VSOP (Very Superior Old Pale), still often (though now less frequently) called Reserve, designates a blend in which the youngest has been cask-aged for a minimum of two years.  VSOP is sometimes incorrectly cited as Very Special Old Port or Very Special Over Proof.

Napoléon designates a blend in which the youngest brandy has been cask-aged for a minimum of six years.  Although long used as a marketing term (often as a synonym for XO), Napoléon was never part of the official naming system of Cognacs, appearing only in recent years, when, as a transitional arrangement due to stocks not being sufficient to permit implementation of a change in the rule governing use of the XO label, it was used specifically to denote those blends which, while aged the requisite six years, did not in other ways conform with the revised XO specifications.  Slated originally for introduction in 2016, the revised rules were instead gazetted in 2018.

XO (Extra Old), designates a blend in which the youngest brandy has been cask-aged for a minimum of ten years.

XXO (Extra Extra Old), designates a blend in which the youngest brandy has been cask-aged for a minimum of fourteen years.

Hors d'âge (Beyond Age), designates a blend, at least functionally equivalent to XO, but is applied by distillers to a cognac with some special characteristics which distinguish it in some way.

The naming conventions aren’t as old as the spirit.  When first produced from un-aged distilled grape wine from the Charente in the early 1600s, there was no system of ageing designations and it was sold simply as brandy, or, from the 1680s, Cognac brandy.  By century’s end however, the wine houses began storing the brandy in barrels of oak and to distinguish the aged product, this was called “old”, the un-aged, “young”.  The now familiar, hierarchical naming regime for the oak-aged spirit didn't begin until a batch called VSOP (Very Special Old Pale) was bottled for the Prince of Wales (George Augustus Frederick, 1762–1830; King George IV of Great Britain 1820-1830).

Lindsay Lohan color-co-ordinated in cognac (hair, eyes, outfit & nails), Christian Siriano Spring 2023 Collection Show, New York Fashion Week, February 2023.

The French wine industry was little-regulated until the phylloxera (a type of aphid) crisis of the mid-nineteenth century induced the government in 1888 to create the Viticulture Committee with a remit which grew gradually from disease control to encompass other regulatory aspects of the industry.  One concern was the widespread counterfeiting of cognac and in 1909 a decree was issued which defined the “Cognac” appellation area as the eight Cognac vintages named in a map based upon the work of geologist and paleontologist Henri Coquand (1813-1881).  It’s that map which remains the basis of the rule that cognac can only be produced within a delimited geographical area, defined by the 1909 decree which meant the “Cognac”, “Eau-de-vie de Cognac”, and “Eau-de-vie des Charentes” appellations are restricted exclusively to wine spirits grown and distilled within the defined regions of Charente-Maritime and Charente, as well as several villages in the Dordogne and Deux-Sèvres departments.

Later, the regulatory body was the National Bureau of Distribution of Cognac Wines and Eaux (NBDCWE) which in 1936 defined the conditions for the production of eaux-de-vie giving rise to the “cognac” appellation and two years later re-defined the appellation area, commune by commune, vintage by vintage.  The 1936 ruling outlined the requirements for distilled wine or brandy to be considered Cognac, mandating (1) the product must originate in the Cognac Appellation d’origine contrôlée (AOC) mapped that year, (2) that the grapes used to make cognac must come from one of the six designated growing areas (crus) located in the Cognac region (the six crus including  Borderies, Fins Bois, Bons Bois and Bois Ordinaires, Bois à terroirs, Grande Champagne and Petite Champagne), (3) that the grapes must come from one of the six approved appellations and (4), the cognac must be made from grapes blended from 90% eau de vie from Ugni Blanc, Folle Blanche and Colombard grapes with up to 10% Folignan, Jurancon blanc, Blanc Rame, Montils or Semillon grapes.

The NBDCWE was in 1946 replaced by the NIBC and in 1983 it formalized the long-established designations used to classify cognacs by age.  The designations are determined by the youngest eau-de-vie blended in the Cognac, thus nothing may be represented as cognac unless it has been aged at least two years (the VS (Very Special standard)).  The distillers may sell younger eau-de-vie as brandy (for example Rémy Martin’s Rémy V) but not labelled as cognac.  The point of the designations being based on the youngest part of the blend is significant in that a VS cognac may contain a proportion of much older eau-de-vie.  It’s for that reason some cognacs are sold without an official designation attached, if it’s thought by the house the label might confuse or inaccurately portray nature of the blend.  Rémy Martin’s 1738 Royal Accord by contains eau-de-vie aged between four & twenty years and thus, technically, is a VSOP but the house chose to forego a designation because it would tend to undersell the value of blend which included eaux-de-vie aged up to twenty years.

Most expensive: Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne.  Listed at almost US$2 million, it’s bottled in crystal which is dipped in 24-karat gold and Sterling platinum with 6,500 certified cut diamonds as decoration.  Said now to be aimed at the Middle-East market since the Standing Committee of the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) Politburo cracked down on such extravagances, it’s assumed not many mix this with Coca-Cola.

Highly regarded: Remy Martin’s Louis XIII Grande Champagne Très Vieille Age Inconnu (pre-1950).  There was an official price list on which this appeared but, because of limited supply, it’s really only indicative and most sell at auction, the highest known paid for a decanter thought to be the US$44,630 achieved in a private Hong Kong sale in 2013.

Most fancy box: Camus Cuvee 5.150.  Camus use a sequential numbering system for their more interesting releases, the 5.150 the fifth release in their master collection which marked the company’s sesquicentenary (150 years).  With production limited to a run of 1,482, thoughtfully the crystal decanter was supplied with a brace of tasting glasses, presumably to dissuade those buyers tempted to drink straight from the bottle.  According to Camus, the 5.150 is a blend of five distinct and rare eaux-de-vie from five different regions and is unique in the history of cognac.  A bottle was listed at US$13,500.

Most interesting choice of packaging materials: Hennessy Beaute du Siecle Cognac.  Unusually in an industry which tends to favor creations made from precious metals and stones when packaging its more extravagant products, Hennessy’s most expensive cognac comes in a one litre bottle and a container styled in the manner of an art deco jewel-box, rendered in aluminum and bronze.  Limited to an edition of one-hundred and priced at US$194,927, the designer was French artist Jean-Michel Othoniel (b 1964).

Most expensive by the glass: Croizet Cognac Leonie 1858. General Eisenhower is said on the eve of the D-Day landings in 1944 to have shared a couple of nips of the 1858 with Winston Churchill, the bottle liberated from somewhere.  One sold at auction in 2011 for US$156,760 but for a more manageable US$8,764, it’s available by the glass (a 40 ml (1.3 oz) nip) at the InterContinental in Hong Kong.  Founded in 1805, Croizet is one of the older cognac houses and bottles only single vintages, a rarity in the industry but not even they can replicate the original.  It was distilled with grapes picked from vines with a lineage back to those planted by Julius Caesar’s armies in 55 BC and is the only cognac of its kind left because the vines were destroyed in the great phylloxera crisis of the 1870s.  At US$8,764 a nip, supply is dwindling slowly but, once gone, that’s it.  To encourage consumption, the InterContinental Hong Kong’s Lobby Lounge uses it in what’s claimed to be the world’s most expensive cocktail, the US$13,919 Winston which includes also Grand Marnier, Chartreuse VEP and Angostura bitters.  Better value for money is probably the hotel’s VVIP Presidential Suite Cognac Croizet Experience which, for US$166,117, includes a two-night stay in the Presidential Suite, a bottle of the 1858, a paired menu created by their Executive Chef and exclusive access to the Cognac Croizet vineyards for up to four people in Charentes, near Bordeaux.  During the one-night stay, there's a tour of the estate, gourmet dining and a cognac-blending tutorial from the cellar master.

Best value: Frapin Château Fontpinot XO. It tends to retail around US$175 (US$2000 a dozen)) and is one of the most rewarding XO blends.  Although many treat the language of wine tasting with some derision, just inhaling the vapors of the Fontpinot XO really does  summon thoughts of dark chocolate, still juicy dried fruit, warm caramel and herbs.  There are many more expensive cognacs with a similar taste but few match the endless aromatics of this one.  It’s a economical purchase too because one tends to neglect drinking, just to longer enjoy breathing it in.

Oldest vintage sold at auction: Gautier Cognac 1762.  In 2020, a bottle of Gautier Cognac 1762, the largest of the three known still to exist, was sold by Sotheby’s for US$144,525.  In 1762, Britain was entering the Seven Years’ War, Catherine II was empress of Russia, Mozart was six years old and George Washington had just turned thirty.  Cognac remains cheap by auction standards, the record price achieved by wine being the US$558,000 realized by a 1945 Romanee-Conti while ancient bottles of single-malt Scotch whisky have sold for almost US$2 million.  The new owner was described only as “an Asian private collector” and Sotheby’s added the buyer would get to “enjoy a bespoke experience at Maison Gautier, courtesy of the distillery” as part of his winning bid.

The future of the contents isn’t known but the auction house claimed, though some two-hundred and sixty years on, it should still be drinkable.  Their expert revealed the opinion is based on (1) the ullage (level of liquid inside) which was high, suggesting that the seal had not been compromised so evaporation was thus minimal and (2) a pleasing OBE (old bottle effect), the quality of which is determined by whether it imparts either a pleasant “tropical” note or the less appealing “porridge-y” sound.  He did add however that because glass isn’t entirely inert, it would have imparted some flavor of its own.  That notwithstanding, he suspected the depth of flavor from grapes grown on ancient root stock could give the spirit a complexity different from that known in the modern era.